Wednesday, May 21, 2014

May 20 is my Birthday!

I didn't expect that my birthday will be so special to me especially many greeted me a happy birthday. I was expecting other people to greet me but only few of them. My family even forgot my birthday but it's ok I'm used to it since before. The most important thing is I always greet them when it's their birthday because I want their day to be as that special. Well, I'm so touch one of my bestfriends greeted me because she posted a long speech on my facebook wall and it makes me feel so special. It really made me cry. She really knows me well who really I am. I'm so grateful for all the people who loves me so much and so kind to me.
I had a fever on my birthday. That's one of the gifts I received. The Sisters of our own branch, Sister Mahoney and Sister Anderson gave a birthday gift to me. They were the first one who greeted me and the first and last who sing a Happy Birthday. Why they were the first one? because they did that before my birthday, May 19 (Monday). I was working with them and that day I started to feel unwell. Somehow, I feel glad I was working with them because I learned spiritual things from them. Sister Mahoney taught me something about before we came here on earth, what we do in the premortal existence and so many more. This is the gift I received from them:

Tuesday, my birthdate according to my father, it's not birthday. I was born Thursday so it's birthday. hahah.. I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for another year added in my age. I'm 22 already and can't even believe it. I'm preparing for my mission and I hope and pray everything will go smoothly. The Sister Missionaries from other branch texted me, greeting a Happy Birthday. Sisters from Bacong, Sister Ruiz and Sister Poteki, said in the text: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY gwApA.! NahigUgma gyUd mi nimo .. HopE yOu gOt spOilt ^.^ .. lOve yOu lOAds anD dOnt blOw thE cAndlE yEt hA .! wIsh yOu lUck .! hOpe yOur cAndle bUrns aLl yEar lOng .! xx" (9:35pm)
And the Valencia Sisters,Sister Wahlquist and Sister Aloniu: "HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR REALLY OLD NOW TOO! ;-D joke lang! hope you have a great day fretzie! <3 (9:33am).
And to my budz, Arlie: "hi budz happy birthday!!!! :-) Godbless" (11:13am)
Abby: "Tsk. Tawun. Happy birthday nalang. haha" (2:17pm)
Maita: "Fretzieeee happy birthday get well soon" (6:59pm)
Te eva: "Happy birthday" (8:52am)
Regine: "Haaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppyyyyybbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrttttttttthhhhhhhdddddaaaaaaaayyyyyyppppppppprrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiittttttttsssssssssssiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!! :::::::::))))))))))))))) hahahaha" (3:06pm)

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Who would have thought?

Have you ever remember when you were still a kid you said, "I want to grow up!"? I always said that to myself, to everyone "I want to grow up!". But when you're growing up have you regretted the things happened at some point of your life? Have you ever wished you could be that careless kid once again? I know each one of us have that. Being a child, all we ever wanted is to play, have fun and if ever we have problems it's just a little kid's problem. A problem of toys or a small problem that can easily be solved. Our happiness is just a small thing. A pain that won't really hurt totally because that pain kid's experience can be easily healed. Have you ever remember when how painful it is you got scarce somewhere in your body.

Who would have thought that as we grow up, our problems, challenges, trials in life is getting harder. As you grow, you made some choices that end up to become so complicated. As your life become serious, you become as well a serious person which making you aware of the decisions your going to decide. You get confused and the people around you have a big influence in your life but it depends on how you handle things right. As you wake up every morning, you're always thinking of the problems you were facing. The morning sunshine doesn't affect your bad mood. What makes you not in a good mood is thinking the problems you have. And now you wish that you want to be back in your childhood years.

Who would have thought that the pains you're facing right now, you won't ever forget it the rest of your entire life because that pain leaves wound, scarce in your heart. This pain you ever feel is the most hurtful thing. Compared leaving a scarce in your childhood years easily forgotten. Who would have thought you're struggling so hard right time to overcome all of it.

How I wish I can go back where I was still a kid but I'm not going back but I'm going and going to the future, becoming an adult. Despite I have these challenges in my life still I'm grateful I experienced all these things because if I haven't yet pass these tests I won't ever know where I am right now and who I will become. And of course being now aware of making choices in my life. Slowly growing up, I slowly as well matured.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

A dream!

A morning that I really don't feel right now. I feel so weak and I don't know why. I had a bad dream really. I asked myself why I dreamed of this guy who's leaving Dumaguete right now and I don't know if we will see each other again. I feel like I will miss him though there's a gap between us right now becausa we had a misunderstanding before which was just a small thing. Our friendship is different now compared before. I don't talk to him that much but this is better than before. I was hoping before that hopefully he's gonna leave Dumaguete because he was just a distraction to me and don't want to be distracted as well. And yes, it was answered and I was happy to know that. But the night before he left, there's something in my heart that I know I don't want him to go. So weird. hahaha When I got home, he was the one I always thinking of that's why my mind was floating. This isn't right and it's really wrong. Not in a right place and time of course. This just only a confused for me to be so complicated. Before I went to sleep I think of him too. hahha Super weird. I'm really weird of course. Until I dreamed of him straight. The setting was he's just only in the picture and wearing a white polo and a necktie though the picture was blurry but someone told me in a dream that it was him. And followed by I was in the airplane trying to save this guy and his wife is trying to kill him but he can't neither. I figured it out that this wife was really a beautiful woman like a goddess. The man let her wife do it and his wife was just forced by 2 persons. In my dream that 2 persons were my friends. So the wife used the needles and she drew something of the back of the man and it formed it to a boy. The airplane was landed on the airport already so I waited for another one to land. Since I don't have any ticket plane, I waited for the other one to land and I don't know what I waited there. I feel like I'm waiting of someone to came out inside the plane and in the airport there's one friend of mine he's waiting too that there might be someone came out. I really had a weird dream. Well, when the other plane landed I helped the man to stand up because he was wounded at the back and I really don't know whose this man but I helped him to stand up and we both inside the plane. Then someone called me and I told this person that I was helping this man and I'm so happy I helped him.

Then I had a second dream. It's all about in my family and extended family. I heard something about the news and I really didn't mind it. The news was my cousin they said she's dead from an accident. It's really weird. Then I cried and felt so pity to her and I wanted to come to her visit her. Well, I was just really happy I woke up because I thought my dream was true but my body was so weak in getting up.And I looked at my cousin well, she's sleeping. :-)

It flashback into my mind again, I miss this man for the very first time. I know we will never see each other again and this is better to forget him. I didn't talk to him that much last night but at least he's the one who talked to me. Actually, I ignored him last night so that we can't talk but he made the first move and t'was 3 minutes conversation. So there's still other side of mine that he's leaving and we will never see each other again. I don't have plans to give to him the letter I made for him but since he asked it last night so I just gave it to him. The letter I gave to him was different from the others that I gave. It's incomplete. It contained only a message, no home address nor email address and I didn't put when is my birthday. This is the only way we will never have a communication again until he's home. And the shortest message as well no creativity. I don't like him physically actually and not even attracted to him but he's someone that every girl would admire him. Admire him not physically but inside. Anyways, he will never know about this thing and he can't even read what I wrote now.


Love,
Fretzie

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Akong latagaw na hunahuna!

Today was really confusing. I went to the church and had a wonderful afternoon and night as well. I attended the baptism and gave the BR to 2 sisters (Sister Forbush and Sister Dreu) with SR and 2 elders (Elder Maasin and Elder Steiner with SR)who are going to transfer to the next area. We will miss them of course. I never thought that Sister Dreu and Elder Steiner will be transferred since they stayed here in Dumaguete for a short than their companions. But well it's the promptings and the revelation received from our dear Mission President. They were wonderful missionaries in our branch (Branch3). Sister Forbush and Elder Maasin both in the same branch (Branch 2) and they both wonderful. I was able to work with the sisters and elders in Branch 2 though I belong to branch 3. Helping working with other branches is such a nice feeling as well. Elder Lawrence and Elder Gabriel from Branch 2 serving in Siquijor was there as well. Elder Lawrence will be transferred as well to Cebu and it's a good news for me that his companion will be Elder Revillo who was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3. I thought Sister Mahoney will be transferred but her companion Sister Dreu is the one who will be transferred. I gonna miss Sister Dreu especially the intonation of her voice. Sister Dreu was from Bicol and she has a sweet voice. I mimic her voice which is for me I enjoyed it. Sister Dreu is such an amazing sister missionary and like a sister to me. I love her so dearly. She lifted me up and gave me encouragement both her and Sister Mahoney. I know someday soon, we will still meet each other again. Oh well, speaking of Sister Forbush she's one of the sweetest missionary ever I met. Like Sister Dreu and Sister Mahoney, Sister Forbush comforted me, cheered me up when I had my weaknesses. They gave me inspiration as well. Many people comforted me, lifted me up of course. They didn't give up on me. They did understand me and my situation as well. Ooops, Elder Maasin will returned home 2 months from now this coming July. He wanted to finish his mission here in Dumaguete but it's the Mission President's revelation so I know he will love his last area. Elder Steiner it's a good news that he will become a ZL in Talisay Cebu. Elder Gabriel's new companion is Elder Consigna. Elder Consigna was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3 with his companion Elder Revillo. Elder Consigna is back in Dumaguete Branch 2 but is assigned in Siquijor. Siquijor is progressing and this Island has great future and has a big potential.

So well, after the baptism me and my friends (Nathy, Abby, Ate Joy and Kevin) played badminton and I really had fun. Since I gained weight and almost of my pants doesn't fit on me now I grabbed the opportunity to play, exercise, get sweat so that my waist will be slimmer. hahahha Anyways, I had a wonderful at the church. And on my way home, I was really tired and I don't know what really happened to me. As I crossed the street,my mind was floating and I just realized I was crossing the street when I almost bumped on the tricycle. What's on my mind. I was thinking a lot of things that floats my mind. Maybe I was really tired. And again, I was riding an easyride I didn't noticed again that I'm near on the way home because my mind was floating again. I just realized I was near already when the light was so bright from the post. Well, what am I thinking? I was thinking of the people who were so close to me. I'm on a stage right now that is so confusing. I don't know what to do. I couldn't tell no one because they won't listen to me I really feel it.

Since it's my month, my birthday is fast-approaching, I don't have any idea what am I going to do and don't have any plans on my birthday. For me it's just a normal day for me. Since before, my birthday was just a normal day nothing so special. I don't have any expectations as well. It thus makes all things so complicated. I'm just really grateful that Heavenly Father added another year for me and I'm happy that another year to be added this year. I will be turning 22 this coming 20. Still nothing so special on my birthday still.

This is the only way I could express what I really feel inside. Nobody understand me because I think I'm that really weird person. :-) I hope I can make all things not being so complicated.

For me not to forget the missionaries who were assigned in Dumaguete Branch 3 after the split of Branch 2 and Branch 3, I'm going to write all down here the name of the missionaries. This will serve as a history and since this month, May is the one year, 1st anniversary of Branch 3.
1. Elder Lambert (Last Area) and Elder Tulutau (First Area)
2. Elder Daisog and Elder Ferris (First Area)
3. Elder Ferris and Elder Glines
4. Elder Consigna and Elder Revillo          1. Sister Muena (trainor), Sister Navarez and Sister Pedroso (First Area and anak)

5. Elder Revillo (Trainor) and Elder Calpo (First Area)       2. Sister Rugg and Sister Webber (Tacloban Mission)
                                                                 3. Sister Webber and Sister Mahoney
6. Elder Calpo and Elder Steiner (3rd cousin of Elder Parkinson)     4. Sister Mahoney and Sister Dreu


It's my month and a super hot Summer!

May is my month, it's a superhot first ever summer and I don't feel any excitement. It's been a month the last time I posted something here. There were a lot of things happened to me the past few weeks and for me its getting harder right now. I actually supposedly pass my mission papers but then I had some realizations that I should do this first, the most important thing to do and thus really challenged one of my weaknesses. I got fears and doubts and worries about it but later on I was able to fixed it, fixing myself. It's really such a wonderful feeling when you already did your part and you opened it up everything to your Mission President, no burdens and sadness you were carrying. President Schmutz is the best ever I met and like a true dad to me. I was able to overcome my fears, doubts and worries. I realized and felt it how the Atonement of Christ can help to all mankind and how important it is to always remember it. I never thought I can shared everything to him and I know Pres. Schmutz is a representative of God. Abby is with me also when I talked to Pres. Schmutz and she gave me strength to overcome my weaknesses and talked to Pres. Schmutz. This happened last month.

I have some confusions right now because a lot of things hold me back in not pursuing this I have. I really have this desire to go on a mission but things make it difficult for me to bear. I can't tell no one neither because feel like they can't understand me. But I'm doing my best to go for it. After fixing myself which I thought the hardest trial in my life preparing for a mission, there is hardestiest of it that makes myself so confused. I wanna cry, wanna go to far away places, far from Dumaguete but I don't want to run away just because of this reason. People around me doesn't know how I really feels right now. One of the things that hold me back is my family. Problems in my family hold me back. I keep asking to myself how will I overcome this? But putting trust of the Lord I feel and know it He will help me.

Well, there's a guy that I like but it's better to hold back my feelings than to let him know because this isn't right. hahaha.. Maybe a distraction for my mission. So confusing right now. We're friends so better to keep our friendship that moving forward to it. I'm just this excited that we will be keeping in touch to each other though we're far. The last time I talked to him was last week of April. He's someone who is really special to me. At first ignoring him was all I did but one day he came to me and said I'm a very special friend. Saying that doesn't mean anything to me but the second time again after I talked to our Mission President I sat back outside and then he came again. He asked something to me then I told him it's not about my mission then what he answered was "You're so special." After that, that's when I started I told to myself he's a nice guy and a nice friend. The friendship, our friendship gonna treasure it. I won't forget him of course because he's my friend. I just like him but like as a friend. A funny thing that my friends like him as in LIKE LIKE jud. So I better keep my feelings silent not telling them because it will become complicated. I don't know if they gonna read what I posted but I know they won't. hahaha For a very short time I get to know him though we met many times but the first time we talked was last March, last Saturday of March and the following day was the wedding day of my Kuya. The first time I was him was antipatiko, for me maldito ang face, and then he didn't smile either. But after he knew about my first impression to him every time we crossed our path he always wear a big smile. He's really a funny guy. He's kinda strict person but when you got to know him, he's not. He's friendly actually and a kind person. Those days I wasn't really sure about what I felt for him all I know he's just a friend, a special friend, a friend that you would treasure. I have friends that I really treasure our friendship and he's one of them. Those days there's a gap between us because he's an eye single to God but now he's returning in his home there's no gap at all. He's a friend that I can call now a true friend. Before he left Dumaguete, the last day of his staying in Dumaguete, I wasn't there because I went to Siquijor. I went to Siquijor for a 1 week vacation and attending the farewell party of Elder Vu,as well for the first time going to the meetinghouse there. But I know this is just only the start of our friendship, no gap at all now. I'm looking forward to it. Though we may thousand of miles apart but our friendship will last forever. :-)

He will be home I think today or tomorrow but jetlagged is there probably he will be on facebook on Friday. All my life, I wanted to have a boy bestfriend but I haven't met him yet. I haven't yet found him but someday he will. Anyways, I never thought I just love expressing all my feelings here. If he's going to read this I don't know what he might think and I don't know and I don't think so he will found out it's him. And of course I think he likes my friend not me. It's ok for me no hurt feelings because I'm so supportive for them. They're both my very special friend. And first time ever I heard that word in my whole life to a guy that I'm a very special friend, I'm so special to a friend who is a guy. A man who said it heartily. Anyways, I don't give something more meaning to it because it's just a brotherly kindness of course. But he's the first guy who still serving who told me that phrase. Wew! first ever and it does mean a lot to me.

It's summer and so super hot here! I remembered Mr. Trending. hahah Mr. Trending like like Ms. Trending. And Ms. Trending I feel it like like Mr. Trending. Excited what will happen to both of them when Mr. Trending is home already.

It's summer and here I got pictures where I took a bath in huyong-huyong wherein the water there is always cold. Love this place! Because it's summer, let's find a place where water is cold!


on our way to huyong-huyong! 





Friday, April 11, 2014

The Unforgettable Simple Wedding of my Kuya





 I remember how I got so busy that day (March 24,2014) preparing for the day of my kuya and his wife now Jenelyn. They didn't know that we had a surprise for them and such an unexpected preparation that we prepared for them. I went out early in the morning and they thought I would have my PMG class in the church which I didn't go to. Regine, Abby, Sushmita and I planned this already before the day of their NUPTIALS. It was a fun thing to do and we were so haggard. Me too, I was surprised that Mommy Gemz did some decorations with her mamu! They both so talented though we're all financially out but we still find a way to make it perfect. The reception held at the church and few were invited, selected friends and close family as well as the missionaries from our own branch 3 and the other branch ( Branch 2 ). We had a small celebration but that was the most memorable unforgettable day that I could ever give to my Kuya.

 The family of my sister-in-law was there too and they were all so shy but I know they were so happy. The wedding was held at the Hall of Justice. As I could see they were all excited to go to the Hall of Justice. The 2 witness of both sides were there already ready. My kuya's witness are Mommy Gemma Gamboa and Kuya Aristotle Manaligod and Jenelyn's witness are Mudra Eva Catipay and Kuya Jun Paul Supat. The Sister Missionaries, Sister Mahoney and Sister Dreu were there too.While their civil wedding was held at the Hall of Justice, me and my friends busy preparing, cooking for the Nuptials. All our faces were very haggard, tired but we enjoyed what we're doing. They came after the civil wedding but we're not yet done in cooking. They waited for a while, they had picture taking. After all the preparations, we started already. Instead of calling it a FHE, we called it Family Home Afternoon.


 The one who conducted the FHA was Elder Revillo. I was so happy that I could see the faces of newly wed couple happy. My kuya was so handsome as well as his wife Jenelyn so beautiful. One person who is missing in the event, my baby nephew, their baby, Danziel, because he's in Siquijor and that time the weather was not good. Each member of both families gave their own message to them. I was the first one who gave the message and then my mom. I don't want to cry in giving them a message so I said it in a funny one. My mom cried in giving a message to them then in Jenelyn's side only one, her grandma, gave a message to them because the rest were all shy. There's one member of the family of Jenelyn that's really funny, her uncle. Actually, the room was cold because of the aircon but his uncle his body was shaking and he's sweating we could see it on his face, his head. He looked like he just newly taking a bath. He looked like that because he was so nervous so we didn't let him say something the newly wed couple. Well, Regine gave a message too and the last one who gave was Elder Revillo. We actually supposedly move to the next program but hey my Kuya's childhood friend, Alvin, and our dad were able to caught up for the message to them. Alvin giving a message was so funny but my dad's message was so touching. It's my first time to see my dad cried especially giving his message to my kuya. I could see and felt it how he loved my Kuya so much though he's not really expressive. That was the best message ever I heard.
Jenelyn's Family Side
Left: Grandma
Right: Her mom

Left: Jenelyn's grandma
Right: my mom

Sister Missionaries of our own Branch, Branch 3
(Sister Dreu and Sister Mahoney)


 So this is it! It's dinner time! A little preparations but it's really worth it. I had fun talking to my friends, had some picture taking. I'll cherish every moment happened this night. I will never forget how I and my crush talked most of the time. hahah just for inspiration only, no other than that. But I was so happy that the event was done successfully. Thanks for all the people involved making this possible to happened. I forgot that the one who gave a lesson was Elder Walker. That was a nice lesson and on the spot lesson. Well, Elder Walker was really good huh. Though Elder Walker is in Branch 2 but his companion and him attended the Nuptials. Sister Forbush and Sister Crispino went there too. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father helped us too in giving us strength and for the many blessings he poured unto us.

 I'm happy and contented if the people around me are happy as well. The joy in their faces cannot buy any wealthy things here on earth and because of the gospel they have in their lives that makes their life so complete. Showing my gratitude to the people who helped me making this possible to happened and make it a perfect one. You're all the blessings that Heavenly Father sent to me. I owe you guys and love you!







There we are! Elder Revillo asked to join me in the picture taking! :-D

Elder Revillo "The Conductor"




My Cute chubby friends! hahha
Nicka Mae Maputi
Sushmita Rivera
Abbygail Catipay

Elder Maasin
Elder Walker
Elder Calpo

Regine (blue)
Gerry Evans

My friendships!!!!!

Ga pa cute sila!!

This is the video! Love this video!



























 We made a video to make it more memorable. Thanks to my dear friend Maitabells! :-)

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I realized and learned many things when I read this Speech! :-) ("Conversion is not a matter of choosing what we like and ignoring the rest, but of whole-minded acceptance"

Sins and Mistakes
August 16, 1994
BYU Devotional

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=566

Dallin H. Oaks



Dallin H. Oaks was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when this devotional address was given at Brigham Young University on 16 August 1994.
My dear brothers and sisters, I am glad to participate in this BYU Campus Education Week.
This year’s theme, “Education: Refined by Reason and Revelation,” is both appropriate and challenging. The idea that education should be based on both reason and revelation is a true gospel principle. It is rooted in the divine direction that we “seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118). It is an immensely important principle that some good persons do not understand and apply. Some who have refined their application of reason reject revelation, and some who understand revelation seem to misunderstand its relationship with reason.
We can be edified by the example of great Latter-day Saints who honor and apply both reason and revelation. Arthur Henry King, a distinguished British civil servant who became a professor at BYU and then president of the London Temple, is such an individual. I quote from his book The Abundance of the Heart (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1986):
Conversion is not a matter of choosing what we like and ignoring the rest, but of whole-minded acceptance. . . . When we have performed this act of faith, . . . all the difficulties are resolved by it. When we have laid down at Christ’s feet all our scholarship, all our learning, all the tools of our trades, we discover that we may pick them all up again, clean them, adjust them, and use them for the Church in the name of Christ and in the light of his countenance. We do not need to discard them. All we need to do is to use them from the faith which now possesses us. And we find that we can. [p. 30]
Those words are both a challenge for all of us and an appropriate introduction for my subject today.
I
In this devotional message I wish to reason about a basic principle given in modern revelation but not as well understood or applied as it should be. This principle was given to guide us in our relationships with one another. It is especially important for parents with teenage children.
Three verses of the Doctrine and Covenants identify an important contrast between sins and mistakes. I had never noticed these verses until about one year ago, when I was reading the Doctrine and Covenants for the fifteenth or twentieth time. Their direction came to my mind with such freshness and impact that I thought they might have been newly inserted in my book. That is the way with prayerful study of the scriptures. The scriptures do not change, but we do, and so the old scriptures can give us new insights every time we read them.
The twentieth section of the Doctrine and Covenants, given the same month the Church was organized, is the basic revelation on Church government. It contains one verse giving this important direction: “Any member of the church of Christ transgressing, or being overtaken in a fault, shall be dealt with as the scriptures direct” (D&C 20:80). The clear implication of this verse is thattransgressing is different from being overtaken in a fault, but that either type of action is to be dealt with as the scriptures direct.
The scriptures contain various directions for dealing with members, but the key direction for present purposes is contained in two verses in the November 1831 revelation given as the preface to the book that is now the Doctrine and Covenants. These verses follow the Lord’s explanation that he has given his servants the commandments in that book “after the manner of their language, that they might come to understanding” (D&C 1:24). Succeeding verses clarify the difference between error and sin, and give distinctly different directions for the correction of each. I quote verses 25 and 27:
And inasmuch as they erred it might be made known. . . .
And inasmuch as they sinned they might be chastened, that they might repent. [D&C 1:25, 27]
Under these verses transgressing is different from being at fault,and to err is different than to sin. Here I need to define some terms. I believe that in these scriptures sin and transgression mean the same thing. Similarly, to err or to be at fault are also equivalent. In referring to this second category, I will use the more familiar description: “to make a mistake.”
The subject of this talk is the contrast between sins and mistakes. Both can hurt us and both require attention, but the scriptures direct a different treatment. Chewing on a live electrical cord or diving headfirst into water of uncertain depth are mistakes that should be made known so they can be corrected. Violations of the commandments of God are sins that require chastening and repentance. In the treatment process we should not require repentance for mistakes, but we are commanded to preach the necessity of repentance for sins.
That is my message. The rest of this talk is just for purposes of illustration and application.
II
My first illustration uses words I learned as a young boy reading the Sears Roebuck catalog. In those days, each item of merchandise in the catalog was offered in three different qualities: good, better, and best. Sears didn’t use the word bad, but if I add that word I have four words that permit me to illustrate my first point with clarity. For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time and influence are merely good, or better, or best. Applying that fact to the question of sins and mistakes, I would say that a wrong choice in the contest between what is good and what is bad is a sin, but a poor choice among things that are good, better, and best is merely a mistake.
Mortals make those kinds of mistakes all the time. We can read of some of them in Church history. I believe some of the persecutions our forefathers endured were a result of their sins. The Lord told them so by revelation (see D&C 101:2). I believe some of their persecutions were also the result of mistakes. Thus, Sidney Rigdon’s defiant “salt sermon,” which contributed to conditions that brought about the Saints’ expulsion from Missouri, was probably a mistake. Similarly, some mistaken decisions on Kirtland banking policies plagued the Saints for more than a decade. These financial difficulties were perhaps portended in the Lord’s warning to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “And in temporal labors thou shalt not have strength, for this is not thy calling” (D&C 24:9).
On a more personal level, consider the mistake described by Truman G. Madsen in his fine book Joseph Smith the Prophet (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1989):
In a relaxed moment one day the Prophet turned to his secretary, Howard Coray, and said, “Brother Coray I wish you were a little larger. I would like to have some fun with you,” meaning wrestling. Brother Coray said, “Perhaps you can as it is.” The Prophet reached and grappled him and twisted him over—and broke his leg. All compassion, he carried him home, put him in bed, and splinted and bandaged his leg. [p. 31]
In teaching the Saints not to accuse one another, the Prophet Joseph Smith said, “What many people call sin is not sin” (Teachings, p. 193). I believe the large category of actions that are mistakes rather than sins illustrates the truth of that statement. If we would be more understanding of one another’s mistakes, being satisfied merely to correct and not to chasten or call to repentance, we would surely promote loving and living together in greater peace and harmony.
The appropriateness of that approach as applied to mistakes is surely illustrated by the Prophet Joseph Smith’s well-known teachings to the first Relief Society. There he taught the sisters to be kind and loving toward those who made mistakes, and also toward sinners. He said:
Suppose that Jesus Christ and holy angels should object to us on frivolous things, what would become of us? We must be merciful to one another, and overlook small things. . . .
Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind. . . .
. . . There should be no license for sin, but mercy should go hand in hand with reproof. [Teachings, pp. 240–41]
The book of Proverbs is filled with advice on mistakes or errors, and the word most frequently applied to the person who fails to behave appropriately in these areas is fool. Our dictionary defines a fool as a person lacking in judgment or prudence. A fool is a fool, not a sinner. Our English writers understood that difference, and used it in their frequent contrast of fools and knaves.
Proverbs says that “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards” (Proverbs 29:11). The Old Testament’s usage of the word fool is evident in Saul’s confession: “I have played the fool, and have erred exceedingly” (1 Samuel 26:21). Stimulated by that expression, an English playwright penned these lines, which remind us of mortality’s abundant field for foolish conduct.
When we play the fool, how wide 

The theater expands! beside, 

How long the audience sits before us! 

How many prompters! what a chorus! 
[Walter Savage Landor, Plays (1846), stanza 2]

The Savior used the term fool to characterize the lesson in his parable about the rich man who built greater barns to store his abundant fruits and goods and then said to his soul, “Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry” (Luke 12:19). Then, the Savior taught,
God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God. [Luke 12:20–21]
The distinction between sins and mistakes is important in our actions in the realm of politics and public-policy debates. We have seen some very bitter finger-pointing among Latter-day Saints who disagree with one another on the policies our government should follow, the political parties we should support, or the persons we should elect as our public servants. Such disagreements are inevitable in representative government. But it is not inevitable that disagreements would result in the personal denunciations and bitter feelings described in the press or encountered in personal conversations.
When we understand the difference between sins and mistakes, we realize that almost all of our disagreements in elections and public-policy debates are matters of error (mistake) rather than transgression (sin). The inspired direction for such differences of opinion is to try to correct the errors by pointing them out in civil discourse, but not to chasten or denounce as sinners those we think have committed the errors. (Of course, there are some public policies so intertwined with moral issues that there may be only one morally right position, but that is rare).
In a recent interview with the press, President Howard W. Hunter said that one of our objectives as a church is “to change the world and its thinking.” Identifying how we need to go about that task, President Hunter said, “We have an obligation, as Christians—as members of the Church—and we call upon all people to be more kind and more considerate—whether it be in our homes, in our businesses, in our relations in society.” Concluding this plea, he said that we have a responsibility to teach “a Christ-like response to all the problems of the world” (“Prophet Focuses on Christ’s Message,” Church News, 9 July 1994, p. 3). Understanding and applying the distinction between sins and mistakes will help us fulfill that divinely imposed responsibility.
The scriptures and our leaders have also taught us principles that require a loving approach to those with whom we have any kind of disagreement on matters of religious belief. In one of the great prophecies that concluded his ministry, the prophet Nephi described the false churches of the last days that would teach “false and vain and foolish doctrines” (2 Nephi 28:9). He denounced many of their followers for obvious wickedness, including robbing the poor and committing whoredoms. Then he referred to another group, an exceptional few who were the humble followers of Christ. Note the words he used to describe these two groups.
They have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men. [2 Nephi 28:14]
Here we see that when humble followers of Christ are led astray by the precepts of men, their offense is error, not transgression.
Elder George A. Smith applied that principle in an address delivered in the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City in 1870. Referring to honest persons in the Christian world at the time of the Restoration who had been led astray as to doctrine, he used the word error and indicated that the Lord would be very merciful to them.
There were, however, honest persons in all of the denominations, and God has respect to every man who is honest of heart and purpose, though he may be deceived, and in error as to principle and doctrine; yet so far as that error is the result of their being deceived by the cunning craftiness of men, or of circumstances over which such have no control, the Lord in His abundant mercy looks with allowance thereon, and in His great economy He has provided different glories and ordained that all persons shall be judged according to the knowledge they possess and the use they make of that knowledge, and according to the deeds done in the body, whether good or evil. [JD 13:346]
Elder Smith’s explanation obviously relied on the doctrine that defines the degree of responsibility of persons who have not received the law. The apostle Paul taught that we sin only when we know the law (see Romans 7:7). In a clear elaboration of that principle, the prophet Jacob affirms that “where there is no law given . . . there is no condemnation” (2 Nephi 9:25). As a result, he taught, “the atonement satisfieth the demands of his justice upon all those who have not the law given to them” (2 Nephi 9:26; see also Alma 42:17). Similarly, the prophet Mormon declared “that all little children are alive in Christ, and also all they that are without the law. For the power of redemption cometh on all them that have no law” (Moroni 8:22). This is the principle another Book of Mormon prophet applied in teaching the wicked Nephites that unless they would repent, it would be better for the Lamanites than for them:
For behold, they are more righteous than you, for they have not sinned against that great knowledge which ye have received; therefore the Lord will be merciful unto them; . . . even when thou shalt be utterly destroyed except thou shalt repent. [Helaman 7:24]
Under this doctrine, persons who break a law that has not been given to them are not accountable for sins. Of course, all men have been given the Spirit of Christ (conscience) that they may “know good from evil” (2 Nephi 2:5, Moroni 7:16). This makes us all aware of the wrongfulness of certain conduct—such as taking a life or stealing—but it does not make men accountable for laws that need to be specifically taught, like the knowledge that had been received by the Nephites but not by the Lamanites (see Helaman 7:24). Persons who break those kinds of laws when they have not received them are guilty of mistakes that should be corrected, but they are not accountable for sins. They may suffer for their mistakes, just as a smoker suffers for breaking a law of health even if he has never heard of the Word of Wisdom. There are inherent penalties in errors or mistakes, but their perpetrators should not be branded as sinners.
We understand from our doctrine that before the age of accountability a child is “not capable of committing sin” (Moroni 8:8). During that time, children can commit mistakes, even very serious and damaging ones that must be corrected, but their acts are not accountable as sins.
Even after children reach the age of accountability, before we parents chasten them as sinners for wrongful actions, we should ask ourselves whether we have taught them the wrongfulness of that conduct. Have we taught them the commandments of God on that matter? This is a profound challenge and lesson for parents. Perhaps this is the underlying principle for the Lord’s solemn declaration that
inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. [D&C 68:25]
The application of the commandments is sometimes difficult for children to understand. As parents we know that we must be constantly teaching our children how to apply the commandments to the varying circumstances of our lives. For example, without explicit teaching they may not understand that stealing services from a long-distance company is just as much a violation of the eighth commandment as stealing inventory from a retail merchant. In some of these teaching efforts, on matters that are genuinely in doubt, parents may need to treat an uninformed or untaught act as the equivalent of a mistake rather than as a sin. We should correct the youthful offenders and promptly teach them correct principles to guide their future actions. Any repetition would then be a transgression.
This redemptive procedure also applies in the definition of the adult transgression of apostasy for teaching false doctrine. Knowing that there may be genuine questions about what is false doctrine, the servants of the Lord have specified a procedure for protecting a member who strays over the line innocently. This kind of apostasy is defined as “persist[ing] in teaching as Church doctrine information that is not Church doctrine after being corrected by their bishops or higher authority” (General Handbook of Instructions 10–3). In other words, the teaching of false doctrine may be classified as a mistake the first time it happens, but it becomes a sin and a subject for Church discipline after those in authority clarify the application of the law to what the member is teaching.
Even though they have taught their children all of the commandments and principles they need for righteous and provident living, parents are still susceptible to the serious error of failing to distinguish between mistakes and sins. If well-meaning parents call teenagers to repentance for teenagers’ numerous mistakes, they may dilute the effect of chastisement and reduce the impact of repentance for the category of teenage sins that really require it. This point is well illustrated in an experience shared in an interview on Richard and Linda Eyre’s television series Families Are Forever.
The subject was the importance of being friends with our teenage children and creating an atmosphere in which they are free to communicate with us. In illustrating that important point, LDS filmmaker Kieth Merrill gave an equally valuable illustration of the importance of distinguishing between errors and transgressions in the correction of teenagers. His sixteen-year-old daughter had just begun to date. After discussion with her, he gave her strict instructions to be in by midnight. She was twenty minutes late. “I was very tired,” Brother Merrill said.
I had been suffering for twenty minutes because she was late. When she came in, I immediately read her the riot act. I forgot my policies. I forgot all my positive thinking. I forgot all the great things that I knew I should do. I just simply said, “You promised to be home at 12:00. You were not home at 12:00. I worry about you. We made a call. You weren’t where you said you would be. You said you would call.” And I went right down the list—bing, bing, bing, bing, negative, negative, negative, negative.
“Stop!” she said. . . . “We haven’t been drinking, we haven’t been smoking, we haven’t been immoral or unchaste. We didn’t go to any R-rated movie. We haven’t been to a party where there were drugs. We weren’t out shooting speed or doing anything else. We haven’t been making out, we haven’t been doing anything bad, Dad. I’m 15 minutes late for curfew, so let’s keep this in perspective.” And I totally fell on the floor and started to laugh. She totally shot me down because she felt that she could talk to me as a friend. [“Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem,” Families Are Forever, television series on VISN cable network, 1989]
That is a marvelous illustration of the importance of the scriptural direction that we only chasten and call to repentance for those actions that are sins. (Of course, at some extreme point or with repetition, the violation of a well-established curfew of dating times could be a sin, though even then it probably would not be as serious as the sins it was seeking to prevent.)
I hope we can remember these principles in the direction and disciplining of our children. I gave an earlier version of this talk to a small audience of priesthood and Relief Society members. Afterward, a brother whispered to me, “I sure wish I had heard about this distinction between errors and transgressions before I spent a week camping with the Boy Scouts in our ward.”
III
In the time that remains I will mention a few thoughts about some problems that lie along the uncertain border between sins and mistakes.
Sometimes it is not easy to tell the difference between a mistake and a sin. The boundary can be uncertain. Take the matter of the beautiful flowering crab tree in our front yard. One spring when the limbs of this tree were getting too long, I pruned them, quite severely. June, my wife, evaluated my pruning and told me she thought it was a sin. I thought the extent of my pruning was a mistake at worst. I was willing to be corrected, but I did not feel I was needful of chastening and repentance.
My experience with overpruning our flowering tree leads to the observation that there is a large category of undesirable conduct that is surely an error or mistake, and, at an extreme level, can cross over the border into transgression. When we willfully pass up an opportunity to progress toward eternal life, this is surely a mistake that should be corrected. In one way of looking at things, it is also a sin. This would apply to such things as failing to get schooling to prepare us for life, wasting our time, or failing to maintain the good grooming or to acquire the social or communication skills that would help us obtain employment or favorable consideration for marriage.
Mistakes can also lead to sins. The Prophet Joseph Smith observed that “there are so many fools in the world for the devil to operate upon, it gives him the advantage oftentimes” (Teachings, p. 331).
The violation of special limits like curfews or missionary rules can make one vulnerable to sin. Or a mistake committed by one person can lead another person into sin in attempting to correct it. The pruning of the flowering crab tree, and countless other mistakes that are the subject of communications between husbands and wives and among parents and children, can be mishandled to the point of producing the wrathful, angry behavior the scriptures call contention. Contention is always a transgression. This was the subject of the apostle Paul’s warning to the parents in Ephesus: “Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The apostle James reminds us that “the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). We must be careful how we point out and correct mistakes in others, lest efforts to correct a small-sized mistake become an overreaction that produces an even larger transgression in us or in those we are attempting to help.
We should not conclude that a sin is always more serious than a mistake. Almost all sins, large and small, can be repented of, but some serious mistakes (like stepping in front of a speeding automobile) can be irreversible. This shows that a big mistake may have more serious permanent effects than a small transgression. To cite an example more benign than a pedestrian fatality, it is a sin to be insulting or unkind to anyone, but to be insulting or unkind to your boss is a big mistake. In this case, repentance for unkindness may be easier than finding a new job for insubordination.
The Prophet Joseph Smith identified another kind of error whose consequences may be more serious than those of some sins. He said that ignorance of the nature of evil spirits had caused many, including some members of the restored Church, to err in following false prophets and prophetesses. In an editorial in theTimes and Seasons, the Prophet observed that “nothing is a greater injury to the children of men than to be under the influence of a false spirit when they think they have the Spirit of God” (HC4:573). By this account, persons innocently misled by false spirits are guilty of error and can be readily welcomed back into the fold when their error has been made known and acknowledged. That very redemptive teaching rests on the scriptural distinction between errors and transgressions.
Another thing about the relationship of sins and mistakes is that they often go together. This serious truth is illustrated by some humorous examples in a pamphlet BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School published a few years ago as a tribute to Professor Woody Deem. The companion relationship between sins and mistakes is neatly captured in the title: Criminals Are Stupid. Here are some examples (see pp. 7, 14, 25 in Criminals Are Stupid: A Tribute to Woody Deem, 1990):
A bank robber stuffed $850 in his bag, ran outside, and found he had left his car keys at the teller’s window. When he returned to get his keys, he was met by a welcoming committee. Some bank robbers make their demand for cash by writing a note and handing it to the bank teller. Some of these robbers have assured their speedy apprehension by writing their robbery demand on the back of their personalized check or their phone bill. Another robber used the back of a letter that notified him of the time of his next appointment with his parole officer.
For sheer stupidity it is hard to match the mistake of the robber who put his demand note through the automated teller machine at the bank. When nothing happened, he shouted, “This is a stickup; give me the money quick.” When this was ignored, he whipped out his revolver, pumped two shots into the belly of the machine, and drove off. A policeman who heard the shots arrested him for attempted robbery and drunk driving.
Bank robbing sinners seem prone to mistakes, but no more so than the parolee who entered a florist shop and ordered flowers sent to his girlfriend. After this order was put in writing, he pulled a gun and held up the shop. The shop had the address of the girlfriend, so she got the flowers and the police got their man.
Finally, I cite the case of the burglar who ran away from a burgled house, forgetting that he had parked his car in the victim’s driveway. The next morning he missed his car and reported it stolen. When the police located the car, they were immediately aware that they had also identified a burglar.
Sometimes the same act can be an error or a sin according to what is in the mind of the actor. Something like an automobile collision that does great harm to another can be an error if it was unintended or a transgression if it was intended. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., highlighted the distinction between an unintended act and an intended one in his famous observation that “even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked” (O. W. Holmes, The Common Law, p. 3 [1881]).
The central message of this talk is that we should always seek to distinguish between sins and mistakes, in our own behavior and in the conduct of others. When we do so, the scriptures direct us to the proper corrective.
Sins result from willful disobedience of laws we have received by explicit teaching or by the Spirit of Christ that teaches every man the general principles of right and wrong. For sins, the remedy is to chasten and encourage repentance.
Mistakes result from ignorance of the laws of God or of the workings of the universe or of people he has created. For mistakes, the remedy is to correct the mistake, not to condemn the actor.
We must make every effort to avoid sin and to repent when we fall short. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can be forgiven of our sins through repentance and baptism and by earnestly striving to keep the commandments of God. Being cleansed from sin and receiving forgiveness and reconciliation with God through the atonement of Christ is the means by which we can achieve our divine destiny as children of God.
We should seek to avoid mistakes, since some mistakes have very painful consequences. But we do not seek to avoid mistakes at all costs. Mistakes are inevitable in the process of growth in mortality. To avoid all possibility of error is to avoid all possibility of growth. In the parable of the talents, the Savior told of a servant who was so anxious to minimize the risk of loss through a mistaken investment that he hid up his talent and did nothing with it. That servant was condemned by his Master (see Matthew 25:24–30).
If we are willing to be corrected for our mistakes—and that is a big if, since many who are mistake-prone are also correction-resistant—innocent mistakes can be a source of growth and progress.
We may suffer adversities and afflictions from our own mistakes or from the mistakes of others, but in this we have a comforting promise. The Lord, who suffered for the pains and afflictions of his people (see Alma 7:11; D&C 18:11, 133:53), has assured us through his prophet that he will consecrate our afflictions for our gain (see 2 Nephi 2:2, D&C 98:3). We can learn by experience, even from our innocent and inevitable mistakes, and our Savior will help us carry the burden of the afflictions that are inevitable in mortality. What he asks of us is to keep his commandments, to repent when we fall short, and to help and love one another as he has loved us (see John 13:34).
I testify that he is our Savior and that this is what he would have us do, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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