May 20 is my Birthday!

I didn't expect that my birthday will be so special to me especially many greeted me a happy birthday. I was expecting other people to greet me but only few of them. My family even forgot my birthday but it's ok I'm used to it since before. The most important thing is I always greet them when it's their birthday because I want their day to be as that special. Well, I'm so touch one of my bestfriends greeted me because she posted a long speech on my facebook wall and it makes me feel so special. It really made me cry. She really knows me well who really I am. I'm so grateful for all the people who loves me so much and so kind to me.
I had a fever on my birthday. That's one of the gifts I received. The Sisters of our own branch, Sister Mahoney and Sister Anderson gave a birthday gift to me. They were the first one who greeted me and the first and last who sing a Happy Birthday. Why they were the first one? because they did that before my birthday, May 19 (Monday). I was working with them and that day I started to feel unwell. Somehow, I feel glad I was working with them because I learned spiritual things from them. Sister Mahoney taught me something about before we came here on earth, what we do in the premortal existence and so many more. This is the gift I received from them:

Tuesday, my birthdate according to my father, it's not birthday. I was born Thursday so it's birthday. hahah.. I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for another year added in my age. I'm 22 already and can't even believe it. I'm preparing for my mission and I hope and pray everything will go smoothly. The Sister Missionaries from other branch texted me, greeting a Happy Birthday. Sisters from Bacong, Sister Ruiz and Sister Poteki, said in the text: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY gwApA.! NahigUgma gyUd mi nimo .. HopE yOu gOt spOilt ^.^ .. lOve yOu lOAds anD dOnt blOw thE cAndlE yEt hA .! wIsh yOu lUck .! hOpe yOur cAndle bUrns aLl yEar lOng .! xx" (9:35pm)
And the Valencia Sisters,Sister Wahlquist and Sister Aloniu: "HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR REALLY OLD NOW TOO! ;-D joke lang! hope you have a great day fretzie! <3 (9:33am).
And to my budz, Arlie: "hi budz happy birthday!!!! :-) Godbless" (11:13am)
Abby: "Tsk. Tawun. Happy birthday nalang. haha" (2:17pm)
Maita: "Fretzieeee happy birthday get well soon" (6:59pm)
Te eva: "Happy birthday" (8:52am)
Regine: "Haaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppyyyyybbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrttttttttthhhhhhhdddddaaaaaaaayyyyyyppppppppprrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiittttttttsssssssssssiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!! :::::::::))))))))))))))) hahahaha" (3:06pm)

Who would have thought?

Have you ever remember when you were still a kid you said, "I want to grow up!"? I always said that to myself, to everyone "I want to grow up!". But when you're growing up have you regretted the things happened at some point of your life? Have you ever wished you could be that careless kid once again? I know each one of us have that. Being a child, all we ever wanted is to play, have fun and if ever we have problems it's just a little kid's problem. A problem of toys or a small problem that can easily be solved. Our happiness is just a small thing. A pain that won't really hurt totally because that pain kid's experience can be easily healed. Have you ever remember when how painful it is you got scarce somewhere in your body.

Who would have thought that as we grow up, our problems, challenges, trials in life is getting harder. As you grow, you made some choices that end up to become so complicated. As your life become serious, you become as well a serious person which making you aware of the decisions your going to decide. You get confused and the people around you have a big influence in your life but it depends on how you handle things right. As you wake up every morning, you're always thinking of the problems you were facing. The morning sunshine doesn't affect your bad mood. What makes you not in a good mood is thinking the problems you have. And now you wish that you want to be back in your childhood years.

Who would have thought that the pains you're facing right now, you won't ever forget it the rest of your entire life because that pain leaves wound, scarce in your heart. This pain you ever feel is the most hurtful thing. Compared leaving a scarce in your childhood years easily forgotten. Who would have thought you're struggling so hard right time to overcome all of it.

How I wish I can go back where I was still a kid but I'm not going back but I'm going and going to the future, becoming an adult. Despite I have these challenges in my life still I'm grateful I experienced all these things because if I haven't yet pass these tests I won't ever know where I am right now and who I will become. And of course being now aware of making choices in my life. Slowly growing up, I slowly as well matured.

A dream!

A morning that I really don't feel right now. I feel so weak and I don't know why. I had a bad dream really. I asked myself why I dreamed of this guy who's leaving Dumaguete right now and I don't know if we will see each other again. I feel like I will miss him though there's a gap between us right now becausa we had a misunderstanding before which was just a small thing. Our friendship is different now compared before. I don't talk to him that much but this is better than before. I was hoping before that hopefully he's gonna leave Dumaguete because he was just a distraction to me and don't want to be distracted as well. And yes, it was answered and I was happy to know that. But the night before he left, there's something in my heart that I know I don't want him to go. So weird. hahaha When I got home, he was the one I always thinking of that's why my mind was floating. This isn't right and it's really wrong. Not in a right place and time of course. This just only a confused for me to be so complicated. Before I went to sleep I think of him too. hahha Super weird. I'm really weird of course. Until I dreamed of him straight. The setting was he's just only in the picture and wearing a white polo and a necktie though the picture was blurry but someone told me in a dream that it was him. And followed by I was in the airplane trying to save this guy and his wife is trying to kill him but he can't neither. I figured it out that this wife was really a beautiful woman like a goddess. The man let her wife do it and his wife was just forced by 2 persons. In my dream that 2 persons were my friends. So the wife used the needles and she drew something of the back of the man and it formed it to a boy. The airplane was landed on the airport already so I waited for another one to land. Since I don't have any ticket plane, I waited for the other one to land and I don't know what I waited there. I feel like I'm waiting of someone to came out inside the plane and in the airport there's one friend of mine he's waiting too that there might be someone came out. I really had a weird dream. Well, when the other plane landed I helped the man to stand up because he was wounded at the back and I really don't know whose this man but I helped him to stand up and we both inside the plane. Then someone called me and I told this person that I was helping this man and I'm so happy I helped him.

Then I had a second dream. It's all about in my family and extended family. I heard something about the news and I really didn't mind it. The news was my cousin they said she's dead from an accident. It's really weird. Then I cried and felt so pity to her and I wanted to come to her visit her. Well, I was just really happy I woke up because I thought my dream was true but my body was so weak in getting up.And I looked at my cousin well, she's sleeping. :-)

It flashback into my mind again, I miss this man for the very first time. I know we will never see each other again and this is better to forget him. I didn't talk to him that much last night but at least he's the one who talked to me. Actually, I ignored him last night so that we can't talk but he made the first move and t'was 3 minutes conversation. So there's still other side of mine that he's leaving and we will never see each other again. I don't have plans to give to him the letter I made for him but since he asked it last night so I just gave it to him. The letter I gave to him was different from the others that I gave. It's incomplete. It contained only a message, no home address nor email address and I didn't put when is my birthday. This is the only way we will never have a communication again until he's home. And the shortest message as well no creativity. I don't like him physically actually and not even attracted to him but he's someone that every girl would admire him. Admire him not physically but inside. Anyways, he will never know about this thing and he can't even read what I wrote now.


Love,
Fretzie

Akong latagaw na hunahuna!

Today was really confusing. I went to the church and had a wonderful afternoon and night as well. I attended the baptism and gave the BR to 2 sisters (Sister Forbush and Sister Dreu) with SR and 2 elders (Elder Maasin and Elder Steiner with SR)who are going to transfer to the next area. We will miss them of course. I never thought that Sister Dreu and Elder Steiner will be transferred since they stayed here in Dumaguete for a short than their companions. But well it's the promptings and the revelation received from our dear Mission President. They were wonderful missionaries in our branch (Branch3). Sister Forbush and Elder Maasin both in the same branch (Branch 2) and they both wonderful. I was able to work with the sisters and elders in Branch 2 though I belong to branch 3. Helping working with other branches is such a nice feeling as well. Elder Lawrence and Elder Gabriel from Branch 2 serving in Siquijor was there as well. Elder Lawrence will be transferred as well to Cebu and it's a good news for me that his companion will be Elder Revillo who was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3. I thought Sister Mahoney will be transferred but her companion Sister Dreu is the one who will be transferred. I gonna miss Sister Dreu especially the intonation of her voice. Sister Dreu was from Bicol and she has a sweet voice. I mimic her voice which is for me I enjoyed it. Sister Dreu is such an amazing sister missionary and like a sister to me. I love her so dearly. She lifted me up and gave me encouragement both her and Sister Mahoney. I know someday soon, we will still meet each other again. Oh well, speaking of Sister Forbush she's one of the sweetest missionary ever I met. Like Sister Dreu and Sister Mahoney, Sister Forbush comforted me, cheered me up when I had my weaknesses. They gave me inspiration as well. Many people comforted me, lifted me up of course. They didn't give up on me. They did understand me and my situation as well. Ooops, Elder Maasin will returned home 2 months from now this coming July. He wanted to finish his mission here in Dumaguete but it's the Mission President's revelation so I know he will love his last area. Elder Steiner it's a good news that he will become a ZL in Talisay Cebu. Elder Gabriel's new companion is Elder Consigna. Elder Consigna was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3 with his companion Elder Revillo. Elder Consigna is back in Dumaguete Branch 2 but is assigned in Siquijor. Siquijor is progressing and this Island has great future and has a big potential.

So well, after the baptism me and my friends (Nathy, Abby, Ate Joy and Kevin) played badminton and I really had fun. Since I gained weight and almost of my pants doesn't fit on me now I grabbed the opportunity to play, exercise, get sweat so that my waist will be slimmer. hahahha Anyways, I had a wonderful at the church. And on my way home, I was really tired and I don't know what really happened to me. As I crossed the street,my mind was floating and I just realized I was crossing the street when I almost bumped on the tricycle. What's on my mind. I was thinking a lot of things that floats my mind. Maybe I was really tired. And again, I was riding an easyride I didn't noticed again that I'm near on the way home because my mind was floating again. I just realized I was near already when the light was so bright from the post. Well, what am I thinking? I was thinking of the people who were so close to me. I'm on a stage right now that is so confusing. I don't know what to do. I couldn't tell no one because they won't listen to me I really feel it.

Since it's my month, my birthday is fast-approaching, I don't have any idea what am I going to do and don't have any plans on my birthday. For me it's just a normal day for me. Since before, my birthday was just a normal day nothing so special. I don't have any expectations as well. It thus makes all things so complicated. I'm just really grateful that Heavenly Father added another year for me and I'm happy that another year to be added this year. I will be turning 22 this coming 20. Still nothing so special on my birthday still.

This is the only way I could express what I really feel inside. Nobody understand me because I think I'm that really weird person. :-) I hope I can make all things not being so complicated.

For me not to forget the missionaries who were assigned in Dumaguete Branch 3 after the split of Branch 2 and Branch 3, I'm going to write all down here the name of the missionaries. This will serve as a history and since this month, May is the one year, 1st anniversary of Branch 3.
1. Elder Lambert (Last Area) and Elder Tulutau (First Area)
2. Elder Daisog and Elder Ferris (First Area)
3. Elder Ferris and Elder Glines
4. Elder Consigna and Elder Revillo          1. Sister Muena (trainor), Sister Navarez and Sister Pedroso (First Area and anak)

5. Elder Revillo (Trainor) and Elder Calpo (First Area)       2. Sister Rugg and Sister Webber (Tacloban Mission)
                                                                 3. Sister Webber and Sister Mahoney
6. Elder Calpo and Elder Steiner (3rd cousin of Elder Parkinson)     4. Sister Mahoney and Sister Dreu

It's my month and a super hot Summer!

May is my month, it's a superhot first ever summer and I don't feel any excitement. It's been a month the last time I posted something here. There were a lot of things happened to me the past few weeks and for me its getting harder right now. I actually supposedly pass my mission papers but then I had some realizations that I should do this first, the most important thing to do and thus really challenged one of my weaknesses. I got fears and doubts and worries about it but later on I was able to fixed it, fixing myself. It's really such a wonderful feeling when you already did your part and you opened it up everything to your Mission President, no burdens and sadness you were carrying. President Schmutz is the best ever I met and like a true dad to me. I was able to overcome my fears, doubts and worries. I realized and felt it how the Atonement of Christ can help to all mankind and how important it is to always remember it. I never thought I can shared everything to him and I know Pres. Schmutz is a representative of God. Abby is with me also when I talked to Pres. Schmutz and she gave me strength to overcome my weaknesses and talked to Pres. Schmutz. This happened last month.

I have some confusions right now because a lot of things hold me back in not pursuing this I have. I really have this desire to go on a mission but things make it difficult for me to bear. I can't tell no one neither because feel like they can't understand me. But I'm doing my best to go for it. After fixing myself which I thought the hardest trial in my life preparing for a mission, there is hardestiest of it that makes myself so confused. I wanna cry, wanna go to far away places, far from Dumaguete but I don't want to run away just because of this reason. People around me doesn't know how I really feels right now. One of the things that hold me back is my family. Problems in my family hold me back. I keep asking to myself how will I overcome this? But putting trust of the Lord I feel and know it He will help me.

Well, there's a guy that I like but it's better to hold back my feelings than to let him know because this isn't right. hahaha.. Maybe a distraction for my mission. So confusing right now. We're friends so better to keep our friendship that moving forward to it. I'm just this excited that we will be keeping in touch to each other though we're far. The last time I talked to him was last week of April. He's someone who is really special to me. At first ignoring him was all I did but one day he came to me and said I'm a very special friend. Saying that doesn't mean anything to me but the second time again after I talked to our Mission President I sat back outside and then he came again. He asked something to me then I told him it's not about my mission then what he answered was "You're so special." After that, that's when I started I told to myself he's a nice guy and a nice friend. The friendship, our friendship gonna treasure it. I won't forget him of course because he's my friend. I just like him but like as a friend. A funny thing that my friends like him as in LIKE LIKE jud. So I better keep my feelings silent not telling them because it will become complicated. I don't know if they gonna read what I posted but I know they won't. hahaha For a very short time I get to know him though we met many times but the first time we talked was last March, last Saturday of March and the following day was the wedding day of my Kuya. The first time I was him was antipatiko, for me maldito ang face, and then he didn't smile either. But after he knew about my first impression to him every time we crossed our path he always wear a big smile. He's really a funny guy. He's kinda strict person but when you got to know him, he's not. He's friendly actually and a kind person. Those days I wasn't really sure about what I felt for him all I know he's just a friend, a special friend, a friend that you would treasure. I have friends that I really treasure our friendship and he's one of them. Those days there's a gap between us because he's an eye single to God but now he's returning in his home there's no gap at all. He's a friend that I can call now a true friend. Before he left Dumaguete, the last day of his staying in Dumaguete, I wasn't there because I went to Siquijor. I went to Siquijor for a 1 week vacation and attending the farewell party of Elder Vu,as well for the first time going to the meetinghouse there. But I know this is just only the start of our friendship, no gap at all now. I'm looking forward to it. Though we may thousand of miles apart but our friendship will last forever. :-)

He will be home I think today or tomorrow but jetlagged is there probably he will be on facebook on Friday. All my life, I wanted to have a boy bestfriend but I haven't met him yet. I haven't yet found him but someday he will. Anyways, I never thought I just love expressing all my feelings here. If he's going to read this I don't know what he might think and I don't know and I don't think so he will found out it's him. And of course I think he likes my friend not me. It's ok for me no hurt feelings because I'm so supportive for them. They're both my very special friend. And first time ever I heard that word in my whole life to a guy that I'm a very special friend, I'm so special to a friend who is a guy. A man who said it heartily. Anyways, I don't give something more meaning to it because it's just a brotherly kindness of course. But he's the first guy who still serving who told me that phrase. Wew! first ever and it does mean a lot to me.

It's summer and so super hot here! I remembered Mr. Trending. hahah Mr. Trending like like Ms. Trending. And Ms. Trending I feel it like like Mr. Trending. Excited what will happen to both of them when Mr. Trending is home already.

It's summer and here I got pictures where I took a bath in huyong-huyong wherein the water there is always cold. Love this place! Because it's summer, let's find a place where water is cold!

on our way to huyong-huyong!