A morning that I really don't feel right now. I feel so weak and I don't know why. I had a bad dream really. I asked myself why I dreamed of this guy who's leaving Dumaguete right now and I don't know if we will see each other again. I feel like I will miss him though there's a gap between us right now becausa we had a misunderstanding before which was just a small thing. Our friendship is different now compared before. I don't talk to him that much but this is better than before. I was hoping before that hopefully he's gonna leave Dumaguete because he was just a distraction to me and don't want to be distracted as well. And yes, it was answered and I was happy to know that. But the night before he left, there's something in my heart that I know I don't want him to go. So weird. hahaha When I got home, he was the one I always thinking of that's why my mind was floating. This isn't right and it's really wrong. Not in a right place and time of course. This just only a confused for me to be so complicated. Before I went to sleep I think of him too. hahha Super weird. I'm really weird of course. Until I dreamed of him straight. The setting was he's just only in the picture and wearing a white polo and a necktie though the picture was blurry but someone told me in a dream that it was him. And followed by I was in the airplane trying to save this guy and his wife is trying to kill him but he can't neither. I figured it out that this wife was really a beautiful woman like a goddess. The man let her wife do it and his wife was just forced by 2 persons. In my dream that 2 persons were my friends. So the wife used the needles and she drew something of the back of the man and it formed it to a boy. The airplane was landed on the airport already so I waited for another one to land. Since I don't have any ticket plane, I waited for the other one to land and I don't know what I waited there. I feel like I'm waiting of someone to came out inside the plane and in the airport there's one friend of mine he's waiting too that there might be someone came out. I really had a weird dream. Well, when the other plane landed I helped the man to stand up because he was wounded at the back and I really don't know whose this man but I helped him to stand up and we both inside the plane. Then someone called me and I told this person that I was helping this man and I'm so happy I helped him.
Then I had a second dream. It's all about in my family and extended family. I heard something about the news and I really didn't mind it. The news was my cousin they said she's dead from an accident. It's really weird. Then I cried and felt so pity to her and I wanted to come to her visit her. Well, I was just really happy I woke up because I thought my dream was true but my body was so weak in getting up.And I looked at my cousin well, she's sleeping. :-)
It flashback into my mind again, I miss this man for the very first time. I know we will never see each other again and this is better to forget him. I didn't talk to him that much last night but at least he's the one who talked to me. Actually, I ignored him last night so that we can't talk but he made the first move and t'was 3 minutes conversation. So there's still other side of mine that he's leaving and we will never see each other again. I don't have plans to give to him the letter I made for him but since he asked it last night so I just gave it to him. The letter I gave to him was different from the others that I gave. It's incomplete. It contained only a message, no home address nor email address and I didn't put when is my birthday. This is the only way we will never have a communication again until he's home. And the shortest message as well no creativity. I don't like him physically actually and not even attracted to him but he's someone that every girl would admire him. Admire him not physically but inside. Anyways, he will never know about this thing and he can't even read what I wrote now.
Love,
Fretzie
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