Meet my Eternal Bestfriend

Do you want to know my secret? Do you want to know who is my new bestfriend? the bestest of all? Actually he is the bestest of all my eternal bestfriend. In my whole life, he is the one who fulfilled my true happiness and who changed me for the better. He was there for me all the time most especially in times of my sorrow, afflictions and trials- giving inspirational advices and to be more spiritually minded most especially to become wax stronger, to stand firm. He always never let me feel down and through him, I gain wisdom and be so special. He loves me for who I am and he taught me to be forgiving to others. He taught me to become more closer and cleave unto God. He taught me to always choose the right and be good in all my proceedings. I remember the day I felt and thought nobody loves me and so I went to him. Unexpectedly, he never let me feel so down but let me feel that he loves me and reminds me that Heavenly Father loves me so much. I want you to meet my newest ETERNAL BESTFRIEND: The Book of Mormon- Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

I encourage you to read this and once you read the content of this book, try to ponder within yourselves and pray about it if the things you read are true. I testify to you that you will get your answer if you ask the Lord with sincere faith and this book The Book of Mormon will testify you that these things are true. I have so many questions and doubts before if this book is true but now I finally have the answer. This book is my eternal bestfriend and I won't exchange any other things save it the Book of Mormon. He will be your bestfriend if you let him in. You won't take back any regrets on it. Your life will changed- change for the better. I really love this book and the most my fave book here on earth. Spare time in reading this even for a few minutes.

DON'T MISS A CHANCE OF READING THIS BOOK OF MORMON. Enjoy reading this. :-)


Sister Bohol

Finally! My Mission Call is HERE

I've been waiting for my mission call to arrive for about 3 weeks. Patience and patience. :-)

February-May

ActuallyI started to process my papers last February and I encountered problems while I was processing all my papers but then I actually overcame it all. I always had a problem with my medical that I thought it's all over now. Then follow my dental papers which I should have to come back to my dentist. When everything were ok I realized something very important that I need to correct the mistakes I did before. I thought I won't be forgiven and take months before I will be forgiven. But heavy burdens gone and I found myself being born again and feel the purity inside of me. After all that, I waited when the mission president will come back here in Dumaguete but when he said he will come back during our 1st ever Dumaguete Stake Conference my friend told me that I will no longer pass my papers to him. My papers will be directly submit it to whoever our Stake President will be. So here it goes, I have to wait for about 2 weeks, June 15 was our Stake Conference. In the day of the conference, I submitted it to our 1st Stake President. So it's on his hands already but there were some problems again.

July
 He thought my papers were incomplete so he talked to me and I felt nervous about it. When I checked my papers everything were complete. I was almost giving up and been out of patience. Haha. So I gave it back to him. The following day, I asked him how's my papers now? He answered me that he is still waiting for the response from the church headquarters how to send my counterpart and he returned my money to keep it while waiting. I waited again.
(2nd Week) He informed me that I will give directly to the Bishop on Sunday my counterpart putting it in a Tithing slip but I will not write the amount in Tithing but at the bottom word "Others" then specify for what this for  then he will get the receipt. So everything went smoothly fine.
 (3rd Week) I follow-up how's my papers. He is our teacher in the Book of Mormon class. After our class I asked him and he answered that he still on the process, he needs to type I think some of the information of my papers. A little bit disappointed but I always think positively.
(4th Week) Our class with the Stake President, our teacher, this really excite me during our class. He was discussing and mentioned about missionary work he inserted in the class about my call. He said that he sent it already to the Church Headquarters. This thrilled me a lot. hahaha

August

(1st Week) I was really thinking all over and over about my call, searching in the internet what's the process and about missionaries, missionary work. This is really is it. August 5, 2014 (Tuesday)- our Stake President texted me that "gud pm Sister Fretzie YOUR MISSION APPLICATION IS NOW READY FOR ASSIGNMENT". haha I jumped and shouted I was so super duper happy.

(2nd Week)  Wednesday, August 13, 2014-One of the unforgettable moment happened. It's all about my dream. Well, if you want to know the full story of my dream, I posted it before this. A close friend to my family who died 2 years ago holding a Melchizedek Priesthood. He was a father and an RM who got assigned before in Baguio Mission.
Book of Mormon class- Thursday- During our class, he inserted again to say "imong call sister fretzie kay READY FOR ASSIGNMENT". yay!!!!!! exciting!

(3rd Week)Sunday, August 17, 2014. I asked our Bishop what's going on about my papers and he said that "ASSIGNMENT MADE" but it's still in the Church Headquarters. I felt so nervous and excited. Thrilled!!!! :-)

(4th Week) Sunday, August 24, 2014. I didn't ask the Bishop how's my papers now. Then I saw Nathy and asked him if he can have access about those prospective missionaries improvement of their applications. And so he can access unfortunately not mine but in his ward only since I'm from Ward 3 and he's from ward 2. I saw the application of my friend Kathy that Mission call made and mail sent. And since I knew that our mission application update the same I was expecting that mine is coming. I might received my call within that week or after that week or 1st week of September.
Thursday, August 28, 2014. Book of Mormon class- our Stake President wasn't around and so there's a sub-teacher. During class, Kuya Rodel congratulated my friend Kathy about her call that she received it already. And she's called to serve in the Philippines Angeles Mission. She told me that there's other call too but don't know whose call. And so I felt nervous and excited. I felt it it's my call!!! I posted on facebook right away the news. haha and was confirmed. Our bishop commented on my post that he will give it to me this Sunday.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 31,2014. I woke up early 4 am and couldn't find the reason why I can't go back to sleep and so what I did was I read the Book of Mormon. I continued reading  Alma 17-19. These 3 chapters I really love it. About missionary work and how to become a successful missionary.  I woke up 4am started reading and I end up reading 7am. I didn't expect I was reading just only that 3 chapters for 3 hours? haha well, I think the reason why it took 3 hours for me because I was also writing what I understand, its inspiring message, and what I learned and what are the principles and I felt. In the midst of reading, pondering and studying it, I remembered what I had done before and felt though I was not yet totally forgiven. So I prayed again and I asked Heavenly Father to forgive me and if He forgive me already please give me an answer. After that prayer when I opened my eyes, the first caught my eyes exactly the words stated in the scripture in Alma "sins were forgiven" and so I felt the peace inside my heart and nothing to worry about it. :-)
And so this is it! We arrived at church early. I was hoping that our Bishop will handed down my call directly to me maybe after the sacrament. I was feeling so nervous and freaking out excited. But our Bishop announced that I'm going to get my call and read it in the pulpit.

 The more I got nervous though. I know already where I will be going but the thing for sure is that it's really different when you already received your call and read it. Tears falling. Tears of joy and I bore my testimony after reading. So same date to depart to MTC Kathy and me. After the sacrament my bestfriend Arlie who is getting married next year to attend her youth class and she let me talk in front of her students my experience during my preparation of my mission.

Yay!!! I'm so happyyyy finally I already have my mission call! :-)

I Believe All Things of God's Plan: My Inspired Dream

My dream last Wednesday,  August 13, 2014 was one of the amazing unforgettable ever happened and t'was like a true dream. A priesthood holder father who died I guess 2 years ago and in same ward, appeared on my dream. I still clearly completely remember everything what happen in my dream. I was at the church standing in the hallway near the office of the bishop then suddenly there's a big man standing in front of me. I was shocked and nervous because this man standing in front of me was already dead. My nervousness gone away when he shook my hand and remember what he said: "Congrats!" and don't clearly heard some of the words but this word "Baptism". I noticed he was wearing ALL WHITE- white polo, white necktie, white pants, and white shoes. He looks so healthy and so handsome. His beauty was so perfect I ever seen in my life having a youthful glowing beautiful skin. After that moment, I saw him talking to a few people and these people I can't see their face, all I can see just like a shadow. One he talked to was sitting in the wheelchair. I felt those people he talked to I knew them but don't know who they were. After a short talk to them, he bade a goodbye to me with a smile then went outside. I tried to talk to him. When I looked at the window, he disappeared and saw a man outside wearing all white, it was not him. And my dream continued, I saw his youngest daughter and I said to mind, I felt it that I need to talk to her about my dreams. So the priesthood holder father I meant here was the father of Nicka Mae Maputi.
.
This morning, after the sacrament I went directly to Nicka Mae and told her about my dream and then her mom. I just found out too that Ate Elly Mae, one closest to them had a dream last week about him. This wasn't her first time to had a dream to him but 3 times already. The description I told to them what he looked like in my dream was the same thing also Ate Elly Mae described wearing all white with a perfect image. It was such an amazing dream and he even talked to me. Her 3rd dream about him was he's carrying a scriptures and he was with someone she didn't know. Mom's Nicka told me that her husband during his mission in Baguio Mission was got the highest baptism all over the mission and who helped rescue less active  members in the Bacong Branch before (now a Ward). He rescued many members to be back at the church. He's also a close friend to my father, close family friend. His wife told me that he really visited his favorite people.

I realized many things after this dream of mine. He congratulated me because I'm going on a mission and he's so proud of me. I think too that he congrats me because maybe that was the day one of the Apostles all the way from Salt Lake Utah Church Headquarters made already me an assignment. A lot of things I really think of and I think there are so many things that have meanings. He said mentioned to me the word "baptism". I am thinking right now this could be Baptism for the Living and Baptism for the Dead.

1. Baptism for the Living - This might be or could be possibly talks about where the people I'm going to preach the gospel in the land where I will go to labor. In the sense that, many people are waiting of me there who are willing to accept the gospel, to be baptized in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I feel and think this land will grow in prosperity because the people are ready. These are the people who are seeking for the truth, want to feel the true happiness within themselves. I might think to that as I set always be a good example to everyone, my relatives, through this they will join the church and be get baptized. In congratulating me, it could be the sense of  I might be able to bring many souls to Christ.

2. Baptism for the Dead- As what I said earlier, he talked to these people I don't clearly totally don't seen their image but a dark shadow and felt I knew them yet don't know who they were. This might be the meaning of I really should work out of my genealogy. I need to work my family history as soon as possible. I think those were my ancestors he was talking to. I feel that many of my ancestors are accepting already the gospel in the Spirit World and they're waiting of me right now to do my part for them. I think so that was the meaning.

Baptism for the Dead Font

3. Some meanings I interpreted about my dreams- Our world, the earth and the Spirit world are in the same place. Where living people live, that's where the Spirit World exist. The difference is just we can't see them but the Spirit people can see us. He was with someone so I guess he's a Missionary doing missionary work in the Spirit World.

 I realized more even more how Missionary Work is essential here on earth. Missionary Work isn't just only a work to preach the gospel to all mankind. But it is a very in demand work we have to do. We have to be part of Missionary Work not just by preaching the gospel but to save souls. The time is nigh, we have a lot things to do doing missionary work. We MUST help hastening the Lord's work. I know that the Missionary Work in the Spirit World are really so fast, it grow faster. And here on earth, as a living human we must also do our part to get involved doing missionary work. The more I understand  our prophets why they always giving us messages about missionary work and why now the age for missionary work changed. Girls can serve at the age of 19  and boys 18. Because the missionary work in the spirit world are so fast in growing and many souls accepted the gospel there, they are waiting for us to help them through that baptism for the dead. And many souls are waiting whose family haven't yet received the gospel here on earth or might received but not yet accepted- so these mean that we have to help hastening the Lord's work.

I know and believe that the fulness of the gospel is being restored through the instrument of Prophet Joseph Smith and it can be found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am humbly blessed because of my dream and even now I don't know where I'll go to serve, who don't know who are these people yet I already love them. My faith grows stronger and I know this is one of the greatest revelations I ever received. How grateful I am of being a member in the true church of Jesus Christ. I know there are more things that will revealed to me as I continue to read and ponder the scriptures. The key answers are there and all I have to do is to seek for it accompanied with prayer and fasting. Hearken to the leaders, prophets.

I definitely love the gospel, doctrines and teachings of the church.
 I truly believe I AM A WOMAN OF FAITH.

Love,

Fretzie L. Bohol

Below are some information I got about the Spirit World and the Spirit People there. After I write down about my dream and what does it mean to me, I searched and read about the Spirit World. So here are the infos I got. When I read it, I feel more amazed I was right about my dream and my own understanding on it.

I Hope They Call me on a Mission- COUNTDOWN

I hope they call me on a mission. I passed all my mission papers a few weeks ago and for about a week I was waiting for the update of my mission call. It's been about for 1 week I waited then the Stake President called me on the phone. He was asking the full name of my medical doctor. I thought he already send it to the church headquarters but I was wrong. He checked all my papers all over again to make sure everything will be ok. My Stake President was our teacher in The Book of Mormon class. It's been 1 week he had my papers and I still don't know what's going on so I approached him and asked about it. He told me he still have to take some notes and then send it. So I waited for about 1 week again. The next class we had while he was teaching and we came to a point talking about those youngsters going on a mission he inserted to mentioned that my papers were already to the church headquarters. I felt with joy that time hearing about the news. Our class to him is every Thursday and so I was thinking that they maybe arere checking all my papers then submit it to the Apostles to do the assignment made through the inspiration. As days passed, I still had on my mind what's going on with my papers. After that week, Tuesday afternoon (August 5, 2014), our Stake President texted me to informed that my mission application is "Now Ready for Assignment". At that moment I read the text message I jumped and shouted of knowing the update of my mission call. I was at home that time reading my scripture. My sister-in-law and my mom wandered what happened to me why reacted like that. They thought that my mission call was already made. haha That was funny how I acted like that. But I'm still half my way and don't know when will my mission call be made and ready to send it back, the mail. I always keep on searching about the mission application process and read it all over again and again. Everyday, I kept on searching the blogs of missionaries, their experiences and watching even their video opening their call.

 Since that day, it never blotted out in my mind about my mission application. I know the process how they assigned prospective missionaries. After the mission application sent to the Salt Lake City to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Headquarters,within the next two weeks or so, members from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles will look over the application and through inspiration, determine the destination as well as the departure date. This will be the time filled with questions, guesses, wandered and anxiety where and when in everyone's mind. I have this anticipation feeling and so excited where the Lord wants me to go. I know the place I will be serving Him helping hastening the Lord's work is the place I meant to go. I'm beyond excited for this. One of the things I did was I asked some of my friends about their mission call, how long they've waited for it. Some say 3 to 4 weeks and now after that day the Stake President informed me, I feel though I'm waiting forever, it's too long for me to wait but I have to be patience for it. I'm always wondering ''WHERE IN THE PHILIPPINES WILL I GO"? Gessshhh.. I'm excited to preach the gospel and I know I have so many sacrifices of leaving my family to go on a mission but I know it's worth it.

I hope they call me on a mission. I feel like I'm waiting for years, forever about my mission call but patience keep me holding. I'm humbly patiently waiting for my call and I know I will be so blessed, my family and especially those people whom I will be preaching in the land where the Lord sends me.

I'm humbly blessed for the trials and challenges that came in my life because without it I won't ever feel the real happiness and won't find the truthfulness of the gospel. I gonna love it and I know it.

Love,
Future Missionary
Sister Bohol

Missionary/Member Etiquette RE-POST

This isn't my own writings but I love this. I love reading this which is a reminder to all members. This is a big help for us to help all young full time missionaries to concentrate in their work. :-)

Dear CRUSH! (PART 1)

Dear Crush,

      You know me but you don't know you're my crush. The very first time I saw you I already have feeling towards you. The setting was this: you were with the little kids, you were a choreographer to them for the upcoming event, primary. I don't know you that time but seeing you with the little kids malingaw jud kog lantaw ninyo. I though that will be the last day of seeing you secretly. But that is not the end of seeing you from the distant. It happened again during the Temple Trip in Cebu, YSA Temple Trip. Oh, no! How happy I am I got to see you again from the distant. It's really difficult for me always hiding this kind of feeling. As what I remember, it was the month of August. I will never forget those times. Inside the temple, in doing sacred ordinances you were also there but we have no chance of talking to each other nor greetings even smile. Pasulyap-sulyap lang akong mata diha nimo and mulikay if makalingi ka nako. That time, gipagya-pagya ko nilang Clifford. Gesshhh!! Katong naa tas barko, maglantaw-lantaw jud ko nimo ba ug pasiklit. Akong kalipay is makit.an lang ka. I'm already contented just seeing you from a distant or even watching you while nakatalikod ka. Nabalik lamang tas Dumaguete pero wala jud tay chance atong nagka talk. Apan nalipay man ko na naa tay memories bisag sa picture lang taman. It's a great opportunity for me to attend sa wedding reception nilang Kuya Manuel and Ate Dolor kay mas nidugay ako paglantaw lang nimo ug dako akong kalipay atong panahona. I thought pag-uli napod nato sa Dumaguete ang katapusan na kita magkita usab pero dili pa diay. Naabot sa point nga niapil kog District Choir and it's really unexpected to me that you too joined the choir. Another inspiration of seeing you again, mas more kong na inspire. And sa pag.audition nako sa choir wala ko nag expect imo diayng Ate tong akong nahimog judge sa kong asa ko ibotang. I sang a song out of tune but she did a basic thing sa pagkanta, wala ko nag expect na iya kong gibotang sa Soprano. haha I don't have a good voice in singing but she said I have the potential to become or improve my voice in singing if I keep on practicing. Overwhelmed kos compliment kay it's my first to heard it from someone naghatag ug compliment sa akoa sa pagkanta. So mao nani sya. Na inspired na nuan ko na mag attend ug practice sa choir but naa pod koy kaguol kay you just sometimes mag.apil practice sa choir. Nagguol ko. Pero wala jud ko nag lose hope ato. Sa hapit na ang adlaw na manganta najud mi nag.sige na ka ug apil sa choir. Pero akong feelings nimo after sa hitabong choir nawala because someone filled that happines. Pero wala ko nagdahum na magbulag mi. Naabot jud sa point na nasakitan jud ko maayo atong tawhana. 

  Apan sa pila ka bulan nilabay na niuandang najud ko sa choir ug dili na tig.apil sa YSA activity, nibalik na usab kog attend. Mao to sya ang adlaw our path crossed again in the month of February. I have doubts whether I still have feelings nimo or wala na. I saw you but you disappeared. And February mao na sya ang Valentine's Ball sa Ysa. Tungod kay wala ka ato na, naa koy nakit.ang cute guy I know for a very long time but I feel though attracted to him. Dili lang ko mo mention sa iyang name but muhatag kog clue he's younger nako 4 years among gap and he's 18, chinito. Like you crush, I'm younger than you for 6 years diba you're 28 na karon? Anyways, I thought again we will never be like friends jud. I remember na ikaw nagsigeg poke nako sa facebook this year lang last January. To think about it, I never expected sa mga panhitabo natong duha di ko katoo magkaclose friends tang duha. 

   How we became close friends? How does it started and when? Well, mao ni sya ang sinugdan na nagka friends ta. Katong niadto kog Siquijor. If you can still remeber? It was the end week of November 2013. Naa pa diay koy boyfriend ato. Together with my mom, Aunt Flor, my cousin Renz and Uncle Elmer nagkita tas Jo's. Nag-short term missionary work mo and with your kuyogs kay silang JP and Tatay Tumogsok. Didto ta start nagkatalk najud, say hi, nagtagdanay. I have feelings nimo ato but I hold back, keep it inside aside from having a boyfriend that time, the best thing is always to hide. That was the last time we had our conversation. Then mao natong nag poke ka nako sige sa FB January 2014. Pero you started to like my pictures and posts sa facebook and even magcomment comment pero sa personal we don't have a chance to talk. Maybe shy rajud ko ug ikaw, or awkward lang jud natong duha. Until summer came, I went to Siquijor again nagvisit lang kariyot didto then come back in Dumaguete. All the people Saints in Siquijor especially my Aunty, my cousin and Uncle are waiting of your return there. Toa kas Tacloban ato sa imong gidakoan nagbisita where that place was devastated because of the Supertyphoon Yolanda. I think you stayed there for almost 2 months then nibalik napod diris Dumaguete. And by May 2014, we see each other again. It was Sunday night and nahuman na ang choir. We crossed our path again but this time, you said Hi and I replied Hi pod nimo then the start of our conversation naabot sa Siquijor atong topic. You asked me when will go back to Siquijor and I said I don't know if naay mo libre nakog plete adto didto or if imo kung librehan plete. I was just only joking. Pero you said not a problem it's just a small amount fare. I thought you were just joking. We had conversations we talked about my past, my latest ex-boyfriend why we broke and etc. We shared so many things enjoying each other's company. You really made me laugh the whole night. They said your weird but your weirdness made me fell inlove more jud nimo. We have commons jud and some likes sa usab-usa. I know from the very start you treat me as sister, a friend, a closefriend. You were never had a feeling of getting attracted to me but I'm still contented and happy nagka friends ta. And so that night, you said to me na you'll inform me when ta muadtog Siquijor but I didn't expect anything from you na you'll do that jud. And so again we met at Sushmita's graduation again. We talk a little and so happy you were there I just love talking being with your company. So that night, you were asking a number to me para ma contact pero you gave your number to me para ako lang magtext nimo and then imo lang isave. And so, it was Sunday night and by Thursday night you called on my phone many times coz I wasn't able to answer your call kay wala ko naka reply dayon s imong message. So Friday afternoon we met at the Terminal (port of Dumaguete) together with JP niadto tag Siquijor.

  I remember atong naa tas barko, you're super talkative sigeg chikka dili mahutdag storya, daghang jokes, sigeg pakatawa. We were the most noisy sa barko hantod naabot lamang tas Siquijor. Ug sa dihang nag offer mo na magstay nalang sa inyo para makalaag ko and so nisugot ko kay I know kamong JP buotang tawo and can be trusted won't do any harmful movements towards me. Well, those days were the best ever happened sa ako life I feel so free and wild young. hahaha we shared laughter together and many memorable moments with the members in Siquijor. We always have our dine in choice at Jo's Inato Siquijor and kanunay sigeg busog jud. Then our last day was nangaligo tas Salagdoong with the members. Sadja jd ta ato and even nakabuyag ka nako ato kay kaingon kag magpa syunso ko kay maba man ko atog short kay mangaligo gud laman ug dagat pero niadto kog front seat. hahaha Di jud tikaw makalimtan. Our last night spending was in Jos Inato the best ever night imo kong gipakataw pag ayo jud. Salamat nimo you filled my happiness. Before ta matulog mag chika2 pata with my aunt before sila mupauli. Naabot ang point nagka talk ta kitang duha. I cried in front of you because sa ako na share. You listened to me. Sorry if emotional ko. :-)

Thank you for being a part of my life and be my inspiration Mr. YOW! :-)

Hahahah! Better ing.ani ang picture!

Be not FEAR, Be FEARLESS

Yesterday, July 22, 2014, was an unexpected and unplanned but still grateful it happened. I don’t have regrets in my life why I chose this path and leaving what beyond opportunities I may have because I know in myself it’s the best thing to do. For 2 and 1/2 years I became inactive in the church, there was a part of me that is missing and don’t know what it was. In that years missing in my life, I was studying and not myself nor my family, relatives sent me to a college but I got a scholarship, one congregation of the nuns. They have a program for those poor people who cannot afford themselves to go to school giving an opportunity to go to school with maintaining passing grades. I got qualified in that scholarship. I grabbed that opportunity for me to go to college and I thought I will be so happy in myself I was able to study in college but I was wrong. I became unhappy person, there’s something missing in my life. I started went to college since 2011 and stopped 2013. For those years of studying, attending every meeting with the congregation, I felt the loneliness, emptiness in my heart no matter how I let myself so happy. I’ve been searching that happiness I’m looking for, been praying and one day I found myself coming back to mormon church, the answer was there. The missing in my life was then complete. I always knew in my heart before that I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church but I didn’t listen what my heart told me. I just sometimes attended church service until such time the feeling was so strong that I have to made a firm decision. I have this feeling that I have to go on a mission and I should tell the congregation who sponsored my schooling that I have to discontinue my studies and wanna come back to mormon church. I know within myself that giving up the opportunities in my life there will be consequences I need to face. But my feeling is I don’t want this anymore this kind of life so much of hiding things, hiding feelings. I stopped and didn’t show up because I have many fears, negative thoughts. It takes courage for me to stand up about my belief and to stand firm. I’ve been so fearful for so many months before I took the courage to face them. I was different before compared now in making decisions. I’m afraid of facing the consequences and to face people what I should say and to stand what path I chose. 

Inner courage also includes doing the right thing even though we may be afraid, defending our beliefs at the risk of being ridiculed, and maintaining those beliefs even when threatened with a loss of friends or of social status. He who stands steadfastly for that which is right must risk becoming at times disapproved and unpopular.

I know being courageous is very a hard thing to do for me. All I ever want in my life is to be honest of myself, to others, and especially to God. I planned many times I have to talk to this people I didn’t show up because of the decision I made but brought me to be more fearful. There’s one person I talked to, a close person to me, he’s a psychologist as well. I told him to psycho me, anything, so he asked me a few questions and figured out about my self-awareness. This one thing that gives me additional courage he said was: “When are you going to overcome your fear to become fearless?” and so more.. The next day, I hurriedly went to the easy ride and we see each other after almost a year not showing up to them. We had conversation, many things and something was so strong in my heart that this is the right time to talk to her and so I decided. I told her if can I talk to her privately and she nodded. I went to their house and we started our conversation. Telling her the truth makes myself free and standing what my belief is. In my mind, I think I can’t stand why I chose this path. So what I did since I have the Book of Mormon in my bag, I touched it and asking to guide me every word that I would say and not me to feel nervous. So she started to ask questions about the mormon church, beliefs, etc. Every question she asked to me I was able to answer it without any doubts in my heart. I don’t even remember some of the answers I said to her I felt the Holy Spirit was so strong to me that time. I can’t really imagine myself how I grow little by little. I know and felt it that what I answered to every question she asked were all correct and no doubts at it. I remembered what she said to me as before I departed her place, saying goodbye to her was, “You know Fretzie, from the very first day I met you, I already felt it that you have so many potentials and you will become a better teacher and have a brighter future. I always knew you were such a good person, you are beautiful inside and out, you have that pure heart. I’m always praying for the path you chose and anytime you can come here, welcome here. You can talk to me anytime.” This really melted my heart and makes me cried. I never thought that my prayers were answered one by one. She supported me of going on a mission and respect what my decision is. Though there were some things she said that I’ve been wasting my time for the remaining years I didn’t continue my studies, looking beyond the status of my family that she knows I can help them. But I know within my heart that multiple blessings my family will receive as I set aside first everything and putting priority first the Lord’s work. This is ever of the unforgettable moment I will cherish in my heart of standing what is right, must be firm in decision and to overcome fear to become fearless.
When are you going to end your fear to become fearless? Well, the answer is right now. It takes courage courage in every circumstances we are facing. Everything is possible if we fight our fears and if so, we will become fearless in doing what is right. I have no regrets of what happened in my life because I know Heavenly Father never leave me alone. He guides me and He is always open arms to me. I get strength of having courage to become fearless because of Him. I realized that Heavenly Father really prepared me before going on a mission because like this experienced I had, I was acting already like a missionary. Most questions being asked usually what missionaries heard in the investigators. I feel so grateful I experienced this and He gave me to have this opportunity because I know the place He wants me to go on my mission is greater experience I will have than I experience now. I will humbly appreciate and accept where the Lord wants me to go because He knows what I’m capable of, my potentials. The place He prepared for me is so special that this land will be the best 18months in my whole life I won’t trade anything.  By then, the experiences I learned before my mission I would cherish this forever and because of the things I gained, my testimony grows. I know that The Book of Mormon is the most correct book upon the face of the earth and there’s nothing I have to prove this to people that this book is true because the book itself, The Book of Mormon, has already its proof as you read, ponder and pray about it. You will know in yourself the answer. I feel so humbled that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and standing my belief in this church isn’t that easy but we have our own choices, whether you stand it fearlessly or always have fear. One of the best experiences I really have in my life. I love of being me, being true to myself. Waiting for my mission call for a long time because there were some papers returning makes me to become more patience and measuring it. I love the way I, myself is changing right now to become a better person.
I’ll always keep you posted guys! :-)

Love,
Soon to be a Full-time Missionary
Sister Bohol

Excited!!!!!!

I'm so excited for the interview. Our Stake President is going to interview me very soon for my mission. I just hope and pray that my mission papers will all be ok. So excited for me to go on a mission and to preach the gospel to all mankind. This is a very special message that they must seek to find out. Many people are very hungry spiritually. I'm thinking where does the Lord want to me to serve Him as a full-time missionary. It's really exciting and excited that my friends are going on a mission soon after they received their call. Gessshhhh! I'm almost there... I really love the gospel....

Love,
Fretzie

Proud to be a MORMON!

"Why I'm a MORMON? Why do I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church of Jesus Christ restored by Him through his prophet, Joseph Smith?
As Christ said: "ye shall know them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:16)
What are some of the "fruits" of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

-One of the fruits, one of the most notable is the Book of Mormon."
**Elder Nolan Archibald
I know there are so many fruits we can tell and TESTIFY that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church of Jesus Christ and one of the fruits is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. The organization of the Church itself is another fruit and so many more. During the Christ's ministry, He organized and established His church, "built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone" (Ephesians 2:20).  And we will know that it is true through the power of God, the Holy Ghost.
Such a wonderful feeling and experience when you're seeking the truth and pondering on it. You gonna feel this burning bosom in your heart when you search, seek and ponder on it. Sincere in thy prayer with faith, you'll gain wisdom. I just love this day and especially being inspired from attending Institute Class this morning I learned something new, spiritual. Reading a book "Why I'm a Mormon" makes me inspired more. This book is a "Summary: Essays by prominent members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, explaining why they are members of the church. Thanks to Kuya Norman for letting me borrow his book. I love reading this book. 
 I always feel how Heavenly Father loves me so much. Despite of my weaknesses, I can still hold on stand firm because I used my weaknesses as my strength. 

Love,
Fretzie

This Feeling Inside

I don’t know what’s going on in my life right now. I’m standing alone, no friends beside me even my family. Talking about my family, I don’t want to share in every burden I’m carrying because I don’t want them to be so sad and be added in their problems. I always feel being rejected with the people around me and I don’t even know why. I learned from my lesson as well. You put all trust to that person, one of your best friends, but behind your back she’s not real. Talking behind my back is one of the most painful things that hurt me a lot. Since in my youth, I always told her again and again that I’m blessed I met her and always been grateful to Heavenly Father that she came in my life. Years go by, a lot if things change. I gave all my love and trust to this one person but she broke it. I always have this feeling not tell her everything you want to tell her, your hidden things. It started I’m getting cold to her was when she said something negatives, talking behind my back to one friend of mine. After all those things happened, though she didn’t know that I have this feeling towards her, I’m trying to be nice to her. But then, again it happened again. I’m keeping distance to all of my friends, don’t want to have contact with them because this is the best only way not to be involved in such that lies, being pretentious of being so good in front of me. Nobody even understand me even my friends. I tried to talk to them but they’re not listening. Unsaon nalang nib a? pero it’s ok lang I know this is just a trial sa akoa preparing for a mission. Satan makes me confused about all these things.

As of now, one of them trying her best to say Hi to me but now I’m the one ignoring her. I ignored them because I always get hurt, not a true friend. Even it hurts, but this the right thing to do. Being a loner and not being so closed with the people around me, they can’t hurt me. I always give my trust but at the end I always get hurt. I’m being so good to me, I didn’t even think negative things from them but they also do it to me. Well, that’s life; you have to undergo pains, sorrow, heartaches, sadness, etc. I hate people who are so pretentious, plastic ba. I’m so confused why they involved other people and some of them ignored me. I try to look at this one person but she ignored me I don’t know what the lies are telling to her. Better to be keeping distance to them.

Another one: this guy! I totally I’m in to him. I found myself one day my feeling toward him is getting stronger and stronger. I didn’t realized that my infatuation feelings turned out to be real. Hiding my feelings is the only way because I’m preparing for my mission and I don’t want our friendship be broken because of this stupid feeling I have. Seeing him in a distance, seeing him smiling, talking to him, and shaking hands- these things made my day. When I’m gone to my mission then my heart will be lock focus on my mission, eye single to God.

Everywhere I go; it’s all sadness, pains. How I wish Sister Webber is here. I know she can understand me but she’s so far away from me. I miss her here. How I wish I will be assigned in Tacloban Mission even for the last time I can work with her as a full time missionary. There’s nothing in this world if we don’t have the gospel in our lives. Building our friendship I won’t ever forget her for the goodness she showed to me. She’s one of a kind. No one can replace her. Of course I won’t never forget all the sisters assigned here in Dumaguete 2. Sister Navarez from Davao, Sister Pedroso (Iloilo), Sister Muena (Bicol), Sister Rugg (America), Sister Webber my eternal bestfriend (Utah), Sister Mahoney (Australia), Sister Dreu (Bicol), Sister Anderson (Utah). There’s more coming that I’ll come to know. I will be like them soon. J They inspired me. Bestest ever. I know I can overcome it all. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me to overcome all of these things. J Scripture is my bestfriend and I know this scripture is always there for me to comfort. She (scripture) will never fail to give me answers to my doubts. She will give me I know the perfect love that I haven’t yet found. This is the surest love I will gain. She leads my heart even if my eyes can’t see. Through her, I can have the companion of the Holy Ghost and feel the grace of our Heavenly Father and my perfect brother Jesus Christ. I know they’re waiting of me and I’m still coming, I’m still on my way to my destination- the greatest Kingdom of all. I know He lives and our Father in Heaven. I know and have faith my bestfriend will never let me feel being rejected. I received so many blessings and because my own trial is a great blessing I should pass them all. These trials will help me to grow matured and more spiritual. Even if nobody knows what I felt inside but Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ does. The sacrifices of Jesus Christ realize me that He has gone through painful and sorrowful trials than I have. If He can forgive all the people and love them I know I can. I’m a daughter of a King and I know I’m so precious. A simple thing He asked for us is to have a worthy heart and willing souls. If I can’t give my trust to other people but I can give my trust to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ because they know what I’m yearning. I’ve been so hopeless before but because of the ATONEMENT of Jesus Christ it gives me hope. I will give my hands to Him for my future and I will wait for Him. Even if I’m alone giving my full trust to Him, I know He will never betrayed and reject me. The Atonement of Christ gives me mercy. I really feel how Jesus Christ how He love us.

I know that the church- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints- is a true church. I testify that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father lives. How grateful I am for so much blessings poured to me. Be not afraid to stand alone because you’re not alone. I know He calls me to help Him hastening His work and I’m ready to serve Him with all my heart. I will do my best to follow Him no matter what. Look for others before yourself because they needed more help than you. Blessings will come for those who follow Him. Be pure in thoughts, actions and deeds. Repent for all the sins we’ve done. Be baptized in the true church. Go to the temple and do sacred ordinances. Make yourself so clean before entering to the temple. Love the people around you. Let thy weaknesses be thy strength. Reading the scriptures, church magazines, books, manuals, etc.- these can help us to be more fully be prepared in all the circumstances that we will encountered. Be not moved in Holy Places. And to remember these all- always CHOOSE THE RIGHT; DO THE RIGHT THING; ENDURE TO THE END. I have my own testimony and I have faith that I can help many souls to come unto Christ. I know, I believe, I have faith that the church is true and Prophet Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God in this dispensation. The Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ and it is true- it contains the fullness of the gospel. We have the modern scripture- revelations of Joseph Smith direct from Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith was inspired to write these revelations from Heavenly Father because this wonderful message is for all mankind. It thus help me personally in my life and here I always find it I’m always loved by Him.

Friday the 13th, my heart beats again. :-)

I received pouches this week. It feels so good when you know many loves you and how they show their love to you and others never break their promise. They never forget me and I'm so touched of it especially Sister Webber she never forgets me. I received 2 pouches from her it contained letters, necktie and lipbalm. And to today, I received 3 things: small PMG with banana picture since he knows my fave fruit is banana, a letter from one sister missionary and a cute red ribbon with bells on it. 

Happy to see some missionaries I know who were assigned in Dumaguete before especially Sister Bishun, Sister Minguez, Elder Daisog most especially the couple missionaries Sister and Elder Anderson . Glad to meet one of the couple missionaries I just met today, Sister Harris. She's so sweet and really good.

Elder Daisog talked a lot of things the improvement of the branch and his investigator before as well as about my family. Sister Alunio we joke all the time, she's really good and Sister Wahlcquist she's really beautiful I gave her my email add. All of them are so excited of submitting my mission papers on Sunday and especially that day will be the official Stake. I think I will be the first applicant who will be catered, entertained. They said it's faster to process compared before. I hope so everything will be alright I pray for that.

My heart beats again because all my friends, missionaries I talked to them and haven't seen them for  long time. :-)

May 20 is my Birthday!

I didn't expect that my birthday will be so special to me especially many greeted me a happy birthday. I was expecting other people to greet me but only few of them. My family even forgot my birthday but it's ok I'm used to it since before. The most important thing is I always greet them when it's their birthday because I want their day to be as that special. Well, I'm so touch one of my bestfriends greeted me because she posted a long speech on my facebook wall and it makes me feel so special. It really made me cry. She really knows me well who really I am. I'm so grateful for all the people who loves me so much and so kind to me.
I had a fever on my birthday. That's one of the gifts I received. The Sisters of our own branch, Sister Mahoney and Sister Anderson gave a birthday gift to me. They were the first one who greeted me and the first and last who sing a Happy Birthday. Why they were the first one? because they did that before my birthday, May 19 (Monday). I was working with them and that day I started to feel unwell. Somehow, I feel glad I was working with them because I learned spiritual things from them. Sister Mahoney taught me something about before we came here on earth, what we do in the premortal existence and so many more. This is the gift I received from them:

Tuesday, my birthdate according to my father, it's not birthday. I was born Thursday so it's birthday. hahah.. I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for another year added in my age. I'm 22 already and can't even believe it. I'm preparing for my mission and I hope and pray everything will go smoothly. The Sister Missionaries from other branch texted me, greeting a Happy Birthday. Sisters from Bacong, Sister Ruiz and Sister Poteki, said in the text: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY gwApA.! NahigUgma gyUd mi nimo .. HopE yOu gOt spOilt ^.^ .. lOve yOu lOAds anD dOnt blOw thE cAndlE yEt hA .! wIsh yOu lUck .! hOpe yOur cAndle bUrns aLl yEar lOng .! xx" (9:35pm)
And the Valencia Sisters,Sister Wahlquist and Sister Aloniu: "HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR REALLY OLD NOW TOO! ;-D joke lang! hope you have a great day fretzie! <3 (9:33am).
And to my budz, Arlie: "hi budz happy birthday!!!! :-) Godbless" (11:13am)
Abby: "Tsk. Tawun. Happy birthday nalang. haha" (2:17pm)
Maita: "Fretzieeee happy birthday get well soon" (6:59pm)
Te eva: "Happy birthday" (8:52am)
Regine: "Haaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppyyyyybbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrttttttttthhhhhhhdddddaaaaaaaayyyyyyppppppppprrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiittttttttsssssssssssiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!! :::::::::))))))))))))))) hahahaha" (3:06pm)

Who would have thought?

Have you ever remember when you were still a kid you said, "I want to grow up!"? I always said that to myself, to everyone "I want to grow up!". But when you're growing up have you regretted the things happened at some point of your life? Have you ever wished you could be that careless kid once again? I know each one of us have that. Being a child, all we ever wanted is to play, have fun and if ever we have problems it's just a little kid's problem. A problem of toys or a small problem that can easily be solved. Our happiness is just a small thing. A pain that won't really hurt totally because that pain kid's experience can be easily healed. Have you ever remember when how painful it is you got scarce somewhere in your body.

Who would have thought that as we grow up, our problems, challenges, trials in life is getting harder. As you grow, you made some choices that end up to become so complicated. As your life become serious, you become as well a serious person which making you aware of the decisions your going to decide. You get confused and the people around you have a big influence in your life but it depends on how you handle things right. As you wake up every morning, you're always thinking of the problems you were facing. The morning sunshine doesn't affect your bad mood. What makes you not in a good mood is thinking the problems you have. And now you wish that you want to be back in your childhood years.

Who would have thought that the pains you're facing right now, you won't ever forget it the rest of your entire life because that pain leaves wound, scarce in your heart. This pain you ever feel is the most hurtful thing. Compared leaving a scarce in your childhood years easily forgotten. Who would have thought you're struggling so hard right time to overcome all of it.

How I wish I can go back where I was still a kid but I'm not going back but I'm going and going to the future, becoming an adult. Despite I have these challenges in my life still I'm grateful I experienced all these things because if I haven't yet pass these tests I won't ever know where I am right now and who I will become. And of course being now aware of making choices in my life. Slowly growing up, I slowly as well matured.

A dream!

A morning that I really don't feel right now. I feel so weak and I don't know why. I had a bad dream really. I asked myself why I dreamed of this guy who's leaving Dumaguete right now and I don't know if we will see each other again. I feel like I will miss him though there's a gap between us right now becausa we had a misunderstanding before which was just a small thing. Our friendship is different now compared before. I don't talk to him that much but this is better than before. I was hoping before that hopefully he's gonna leave Dumaguete because he was just a distraction to me and don't want to be distracted as well. And yes, it was answered and I was happy to know that. But the night before he left, there's something in my heart that I know I don't want him to go. So weird. hahaha When I got home, he was the one I always thinking of that's why my mind was floating. This isn't right and it's really wrong. Not in a right place and time of course. This just only a confused for me to be so complicated. Before I went to sleep I think of him too. hahha Super weird. I'm really weird of course. Until I dreamed of him straight. The setting was he's just only in the picture and wearing a white polo and a necktie though the picture was blurry but someone told me in a dream that it was him. And followed by I was in the airplane trying to save this guy and his wife is trying to kill him but he can't neither. I figured it out that this wife was really a beautiful woman like a goddess. The man let her wife do it and his wife was just forced by 2 persons. In my dream that 2 persons were my friends. So the wife used the needles and she drew something of the back of the man and it formed it to a boy. The airplane was landed on the airport already so I waited for another one to land. Since I don't have any ticket plane, I waited for the other one to land and I don't know what I waited there. I feel like I'm waiting of someone to came out inside the plane and in the airport there's one friend of mine he's waiting too that there might be someone came out. I really had a weird dream. Well, when the other plane landed I helped the man to stand up because he was wounded at the back and I really don't know whose this man but I helped him to stand up and we both inside the plane. Then someone called me and I told this person that I was helping this man and I'm so happy I helped him.

Then I had a second dream. It's all about in my family and extended family. I heard something about the news and I really didn't mind it. The news was my cousin they said she's dead from an accident. It's really weird. Then I cried and felt so pity to her and I wanted to come to her visit her. Well, I was just really happy I woke up because I thought my dream was true but my body was so weak in getting up.And I looked at my cousin well, she's sleeping. :-)

It flashback into my mind again, I miss this man for the very first time. I know we will never see each other again and this is better to forget him. I didn't talk to him that much last night but at least he's the one who talked to me. Actually, I ignored him last night so that we can't talk but he made the first move and t'was 3 minutes conversation. So there's still other side of mine that he's leaving and we will never see each other again. I don't have plans to give to him the letter I made for him but since he asked it last night so I just gave it to him. The letter I gave to him was different from the others that I gave. It's incomplete. It contained only a message, no home address nor email address and I didn't put when is my birthday. This is the only way we will never have a communication again until he's home. And the shortest message as well no creativity. I don't like him physically actually and not even attracted to him but he's someone that every girl would admire him. Admire him not physically but inside. Anyways, he will never know about this thing and he can't even read what I wrote now.


Love,
Fretzie

Akong latagaw na hunahuna!

Today was really confusing. I went to the church and had a wonderful afternoon and night as well. I attended the baptism and gave the BR to 2 sisters (Sister Forbush and Sister Dreu) with SR and 2 elders (Elder Maasin and Elder Steiner with SR)who are going to transfer to the next area. We will miss them of course. I never thought that Sister Dreu and Elder Steiner will be transferred since they stayed here in Dumaguete for a short than their companions. But well it's the promptings and the revelation received from our dear Mission President. They were wonderful missionaries in our branch (Branch3). Sister Forbush and Elder Maasin both in the same branch (Branch 2) and they both wonderful. I was able to work with the sisters and elders in Branch 2 though I belong to branch 3. Helping working with other branches is such a nice feeling as well. Elder Lawrence and Elder Gabriel from Branch 2 serving in Siquijor was there as well. Elder Lawrence will be transferred as well to Cebu and it's a good news for me that his companion will be Elder Revillo who was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3. I thought Sister Mahoney will be transferred but her companion Sister Dreu is the one who will be transferred. I gonna miss Sister Dreu especially the intonation of her voice. Sister Dreu was from Bicol and she has a sweet voice. I mimic her voice which is for me I enjoyed it. Sister Dreu is such an amazing sister missionary and like a sister to me. I love her so dearly. She lifted me up and gave me encouragement both her and Sister Mahoney. I know someday soon, we will still meet each other again. Oh well, speaking of Sister Forbush she's one of the sweetest missionary ever I met. Like Sister Dreu and Sister Mahoney, Sister Forbush comforted me, cheered me up when I had my weaknesses. They gave me inspiration as well. Many people comforted me, lifted me up of course. They didn't give up on me. They did understand me and my situation as well. Ooops, Elder Maasin will returned home 2 months from now this coming July. He wanted to finish his mission here in Dumaguete but it's the Mission President's revelation so I know he will love his last area. Elder Steiner it's a good news that he will become a ZL in Talisay Cebu. Elder Gabriel's new companion is Elder Consigna. Elder Consigna was assigned before here in Dumaguete Branch 3 with his companion Elder Revillo. Elder Consigna is back in Dumaguete Branch 2 but is assigned in Siquijor. Siquijor is progressing and this Island has great future and has a big potential.

So well, after the baptism me and my friends (Nathy, Abby, Ate Joy and Kevin) played badminton and I really had fun. Since I gained weight and almost of my pants doesn't fit on me now I grabbed the opportunity to play, exercise, get sweat so that my waist will be slimmer. hahahha Anyways, I had a wonderful at the church. And on my way home, I was really tired and I don't know what really happened to me. As I crossed the street,my mind was floating and I just realized I was crossing the street when I almost bumped on the tricycle. What's on my mind. I was thinking a lot of things that floats my mind. Maybe I was really tired. And again, I was riding an easyride I didn't noticed again that I'm near on the way home because my mind was floating again. I just realized I was near already when the light was so bright from the post. Well, what am I thinking? I was thinking of the people who were so close to me. I'm on a stage right now that is so confusing. I don't know what to do. I couldn't tell no one because they won't listen to me I really feel it.

Since it's my month, my birthday is fast-approaching, I don't have any idea what am I going to do and don't have any plans on my birthday. For me it's just a normal day for me. Since before, my birthday was just a normal day nothing so special. I don't have any expectations as well. It thus makes all things so complicated. I'm just really grateful that Heavenly Father added another year for me and I'm happy that another year to be added this year. I will be turning 22 this coming 20. Still nothing so special on my birthday still.

This is the only way I could express what I really feel inside. Nobody understand me because I think I'm that really weird person. :-) I hope I can make all things not being so complicated.

For me not to forget the missionaries who were assigned in Dumaguete Branch 3 after the split of Branch 2 and Branch 3, I'm going to write all down here the name of the missionaries. This will serve as a history and since this month, May is the one year, 1st anniversary of Branch 3.
1. Elder Lambert (Last Area) and Elder Tulutau (First Area)
2. Elder Daisog and Elder Ferris (First Area)
3. Elder Ferris and Elder Glines
4. Elder Consigna and Elder Revillo          1. Sister Muena (trainor), Sister Navarez and Sister Pedroso (First Area and anak)

5. Elder Revillo (Trainor) and Elder Calpo (First Area)       2. Sister Rugg and Sister Webber (Tacloban Mission)
                                                                 3. Sister Webber and Sister Mahoney
6. Elder Calpo and Elder Steiner (3rd cousin of Elder Parkinson)     4. Sister Mahoney and Sister Dreu

It's my month and a super hot Summer!

May is my month, it's a superhot first ever summer and I don't feel any excitement. It's been a month the last time I posted something here. There were a lot of things happened to me the past few weeks and for me its getting harder right now. I actually supposedly pass my mission papers but then I had some realizations that I should do this first, the most important thing to do and thus really challenged one of my weaknesses. I got fears and doubts and worries about it but later on I was able to fixed it, fixing myself. It's really such a wonderful feeling when you already did your part and you opened it up everything to your Mission President, no burdens and sadness you were carrying. President Schmutz is the best ever I met and like a true dad to me. I was able to overcome my fears, doubts and worries. I realized and felt it how the Atonement of Christ can help to all mankind and how important it is to always remember it. I never thought I can shared everything to him and I know Pres. Schmutz is a representative of God. Abby is with me also when I talked to Pres. Schmutz and she gave me strength to overcome my weaknesses and talked to Pres. Schmutz. This happened last month.

I have some confusions right now because a lot of things hold me back in not pursuing this I have. I really have this desire to go on a mission but things make it difficult for me to bear. I can't tell no one neither because feel like they can't understand me. But I'm doing my best to go for it. After fixing myself which I thought the hardest trial in my life preparing for a mission, there is hardestiest of it that makes myself so confused. I wanna cry, wanna go to far away places, far from Dumaguete but I don't want to run away just because of this reason. People around me doesn't know how I really feels right now. One of the things that hold me back is my family. Problems in my family hold me back. I keep asking to myself how will I overcome this? But putting trust of the Lord I feel and know it He will help me.

Well, there's a guy that I like but it's better to hold back my feelings than to let him know because this isn't right. hahaha.. Maybe a distraction for my mission. So confusing right now. We're friends so better to keep our friendship that moving forward to it. I'm just this excited that we will be keeping in touch to each other though we're far. The last time I talked to him was last week of April. He's someone who is really special to me. At first ignoring him was all I did but one day he came to me and said I'm a very special friend. Saying that doesn't mean anything to me but the second time again after I talked to our Mission President I sat back outside and then he came again. He asked something to me then I told him it's not about my mission then what he answered was "You're so special." After that, that's when I started I told to myself he's a nice guy and a nice friend. The friendship, our friendship gonna treasure it. I won't forget him of course because he's my friend. I just like him but like as a friend. A funny thing that my friends like him as in LIKE LIKE jud. So I better keep my feelings silent not telling them because it will become complicated. I don't know if they gonna read what I posted but I know they won't. hahaha For a very short time I get to know him though we met many times but the first time we talked was last March, last Saturday of March and the following day was the wedding day of my Kuya. The first time I was him was antipatiko, for me maldito ang face, and then he didn't smile either. But after he knew about my first impression to him every time we crossed our path he always wear a big smile. He's really a funny guy. He's kinda strict person but when you got to know him, he's not. He's friendly actually and a kind person. Those days I wasn't really sure about what I felt for him all I know he's just a friend, a special friend, a friend that you would treasure. I have friends that I really treasure our friendship and he's one of them. Those days there's a gap between us because he's an eye single to God but now he's returning in his home there's no gap at all. He's a friend that I can call now a true friend. Before he left Dumaguete, the last day of his staying in Dumaguete, I wasn't there because I went to Siquijor. I went to Siquijor for a 1 week vacation and attending the farewell party of Elder Vu,as well for the first time going to the meetinghouse there. But I know this is just only the start of our friendship, no gap at all now. I'm looking forward to it. Though we may thousand of miles apart but our friendship will last forever. :-)

He will be home I think today or tomorrow but jetlagged is there probably he will be on facebook on Friday. All my life, I wanted to have a boy bestfriend but I haven't met him yet. I haven't yet found him but someday he will. Anyways, I never thought I just love expressing all my feelings here. If he's going to read this I don't know what he might think and I don't know and I don't think so he will found out it's him. And of course I think he likes my friend not me. It's ok for me no hurt feelings because I'm so supportive for them. They're both my very special friend. And first time ever I heard that word in my whole life to a guy that I'm a very special friend, I'm so special to a friend who is a guy. A man who said it heartily. Anyways, I don't give something more meaning to it because it's just a brotherly kindness of course. But he's the first guy who still serving who told me that phrase. Wew! first ever and it does mean a lot to me.

It's summer and so super hot here! I remembered Mr. Trending. hahah Mr. Trending like like Ms. Trending. And Ms. Trending I feel it like like Mr. Trending. Excited what will happen to both of them when Mr. Trending is home already.

It's summer and here I got pictures where I took a bath in huyong-huyong wherein the water there is always cold. Love this place! Because it's summer, let's find a place where water is cold!

on our way to huyong-huyong!